GADFLY: The Week in Buzz

INT. – HARVARD

We center on a watercooler. GUY and GIRL appear, grab a cup, start drinking.

GUY: Good water today, huh?

GIRL: Heh, yeah. [sips]

GUY: So, you hear about that A.D. party last weekend?

GIRL: No, what happened?

GUY: There was a gaggle of girls standing around outside the building, chanting something and shaking their fists. We thought some sixties agitation was finally going down on perennially prim Plympton Street.

GIRL: Whoa, what were they protesting?

GUY: Apparently, they were just pissed they couldn’t get into the club. Kids here don’t care about world events, remember?

GIRL: Hey, is that why John Lithgow is gonna be commencement speaker, instead of, like, Bono or someone?

GUY: Yeah, I mean he’s no Kofi Annan, but at least “3rd Rock From the Sun” made a difference in our lives. Which is more than I can say for the U. N.

GIRL: Seriously. Speaking of vegetative bodies, I heard the Med School just reissued this old $14 pamphlet, “Guide to Living Wills and Health Care Proxies.” A little late for the Schiav’ but just in time for our parents! Oh, those hardened capitalists—never ones to miss cashing in on a private tragedy.

GUY: Yeah, plus the Divinity School just republished their classic, “Popin’ and Poppin’: In the Kitchen With John Paul.”

GIRL: Seriously?

GUY: Nah, jay-kay. But that would be pretty cool.

GIRL: Save your bullshit for that ec professor who got arrested trying to steal manure from a farm. Apparently he tried getting out of it by dropping the H-Bomb to the cops!