GADFLY: The Week in Buzz

INT. – HARVARD

We center on a watercooler. GUY and GIRL appear, grab a cup, start drinking.

GUY: Good water today, huh?

GIRL: Heh, yeah. [sips]

GUY: So, you hear about that A.D. party last weekend?

GIRL: No, what happened?

GUY: There was a gaggle of girls standing around outside the building, chanting something and shaking their fists. We thought some sixties agitation was finally going down on perennially prim Plympton Street.

GIRL: Whoa, what were they protesting?

GUY: Apparently, they were just pissed they couldn’t get into the club. Kids here don’t care about world events, remember?

GIRL: Hey, is that why John Lithgow is gonna be commencement speaker, instead of, like, Bono or someone?

GUY: Yeah, I mean he’s no Kofi Annan, but at least “3rd Rock From the Sun” made a difference in our lives. Which is more than I can say for the U. N.

GIRL: Seriously. Speaking of vegetative bodies, I heard the Med School just reissued this old $14 pamphlet, “Guide to Living Wills and Health Care Proxies.” A little late for the Schiav’ but just in time for our parents! Oh, those hardened capitalists—never ones to miss cashing in on a private tragedy.

GUY: Yeah, plus the Divinity School just republished their classic, “Popin’ and Poppin’: In the Kitchen With John Paul.”

GIRL: Seriously?

GUY: Nah, jay-kay. But that would be pretty cool.

GIRL: Save your bullshit for that ec professor who got arrested trying to steal manure from a farm. Apparently he tried getting out of it by dropping the H-Bomb to the cops!

GUY: Yeah, if he needed bullshit that badly he could have just sat in on a comp lit lecture.

GIRL: Zing!

-MMG, LN, & ZMS

BROKEN PHONE

Russia Talk Radio in Chicago has reported that Larry Summers will wear an evening gown for the rest of the year, according to Gadfly’s immigrant grandma. The gesture, the station said, will be an apology to the women in science he offended with his comments at NBER.

-LN

GADFLY ALSO HEARS…

The B-School has started teaching NFL players how to make money after the whistle blows on their gridiron days. Which means the College finally has a leg up on its across-the-River peers: After all, we’ve been teaching economics to dumb jocks for years...We can’t resist: Visiting lecturer—and the original gadfly—Elvis Mitchell flitted and flirted at Grafton Street last Saturday night at a pre-arranged after-party for a film screening held at the Law School. The dreadlocked one chilled out with a posse of students as a DJ spun hip-hop tracks into the night...Time named Larry Summers one of 2005’s most influential men last week—for all the wrong reasons, natch. Hey, it could be worse: at least he isn’t siccing Cambridge police on protesting students.

—MMG