Projectile Information Withheld

It seems that barf boy is keeping his mouth shut this time around.

During a recent recruitment event held by the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and Department of Homeland Security (DHS), Matthew R. Skomarovsky ’03 induced himself to vomit in order to his express his disgust for the CIA and DHS’s actions.

A member of “Billionaires for Bush”—his organizational nom de plume is “Seymour Benjamins”—Skomarovsky has come under fire from liberals and conservatives alike who could not stomach his actions at the event. In a letter to the Crimson, Skomarovsky asserted all excretions landed in a plastic bag and “not a molecule of stomach content ended up anywhere else.” For this article, however, Skomarovsky failed to project any information or gastric juices—despite FM’s quest to get to the bottom of the situation, he did not return repeated calls or e-mails.