don’t bang on my wall bitch, if you dont like my muzak get earplugs

To the Dan the Trivia Man,

There were 2 Quaker presidents, and, to quote Wiki, “Many Quakers feel their faith does not fit within traditional Christian categories of Catholic, Orthodox or Protestant, but is an expression of another way of experiencing God.”

I want my free growler!

Dear Attractive Girl in My English Section,

Look at me, dammit.



Hey kid at the Advocate who was dancing with a broom all night:

I really respect that.

To people who ask questions in lecture,

Do not waste everyone’s time on something you didn’t hear or understand completely. Your learning is not more important than other people’s.

Dear Me,

Yo dude, what’s the deal? Get your shit together. You spend too much

time playing video games. Try to do a little work every night and you

won’t find yourself pulling as many all-nighters. Ha ha, you’re not

nineteen forever...


Joe Nineteen

Pitbull: Date me?

To girls who share hallway bathrooms,

Do you have maids at home? Clean up after your gross selves.