15 "Alternative" Summer Plans

Did your i-banking internship fall through? Did the lab decide it didn’t need another research assistant? Don’t worry, FM’s got you covered with a list of 15 alternative jobs for a resume-worthy summer:

1) Stay home with the ’rents and pass it off as community service for senior citizens.

2) Study the effects of melanin on Vitamin D accumulation (i.e., sunbathe...anywhere).

3) Get a head start and do all the reading for next year’s courses.

4) Grow a beard and go on “Beauty and the Geek” season four. Brush up on your Ricky Martin and go on “American Idol” season seven. Or, actually, go on any reality TV show—they seem to love Harvard students.

5) Design your own “start-up company” (i.e., lemonade stand).

6) Do business school and psych studies all summer long. Guaranteed $15 an hour.

7) Get some mileage out of that History of Art and Architecture coursework: Write a “Da Vinci Code” knock-off.

8) Put your online poker skills to the test: Go to Las Vegas and win your first million. Or lose next year’s tuition money.

9) Be like Leo in “The Departed” and join the family business—you don’t need a Harvard degree to sell crack.

10) Set up Facebook groups for Clinton and Obama and call it campaigning.

11) Play golf all summer long to build up your networking skills.

12) Cruise the Asian-American neighborhoods with your Harvard acceptance letter in tow, and wait for mothers to start throwing money and their kids’ souls at you.

13) Get married, have two kids, get divorced, shave your head.

14) Make a list of backup summer plans so you don’t get screwed over next summer.

15) Show up at the i-banking internship anyway.