Cheat Sheet for Harvard Sex Facts: Veritas...Very Nasty!

Earlier this year, the Harvard Independent blew us out of the water with their annual steamy sex survey. But UHS’s
By Jessica L. Fleischer

Earlier this year, the Harvard Independent blew us out of the water with their annual steamy sex survey. But UHS’s most recent data tells us that nearly half of Harvard students still haven’t done “it.” Enter FM. Like the Indy’s, our survey is based on actual data, collected from a large group of students who accurately represent the entire Harvard student body and don’t aggrandize their sexual past.

Which house has the most attractive residents?

3.6% Mather House
46.5% Drew Faust’s house. Oh baby.
5.2% Cabot House
-3.8% Cabot Library


What do you masturbate most frequently to?

34.5% Ec 10 lecture videos
3.2% Roommate in the shower. You sick freaks.
11.1% Those anatomical diagrams in the Life Sci textbook...so hot right now.
1.2% Pornography


Fun Facts

• When asked how many sexual partners they have had in the last month, one True Love Revolution member responded “One...if my hand counts.”

• Those who enjoy blowing horns must also enjoy blowing each other, as the average count for the Harvard band was 86—the highest of any club.

• 15.8% of Harvard students report having sex with a TF. Folklore and mythology concentrators appear to be getting the most play, with one respondent writing in “Mount Olympus? More like Mount Me, you hot TF.”

• 16.3% of students who eat Fruit Loops enjoy anal sex, as compared to only 4.3% of the total Harvard population. 53.7% found the word “anal” kind of funny.

• 0.001% of Harvard student(s) report(s) having a mysterious rash down there but claim(s) that “it’s clearing up nicely.”

• 4.7% of Harvard girls reported hooking up with a member of the Oak Club. Combined, the members of the Oak Club claim they have hooked up with 54% of Harvard girls.

• Mac users are quicker to drop the pants, with an average user willing to bunker down after 2.9 dates (versus 3.1 for PC users.)*

• Students who drink on a regular basis appear to also be having more sex, but FM is still trying to find a link between these two seemingly unrelated facts. Beer goggles what?


*this data taken from the actual Indy sex survey, May 2005. Like FM would use the phrase “bunker down.”

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