15 "Unmentionables:" Harvard Pick-Up Lines

1.) Hey baby, I’m looking for an i-banking job, but I’d rather land a u-banging position any day.

2.) You go to Harvard? Me too! Let’s skip section and go make some double-legacy children.

3.) Hi, I’m concentrating in Human Evolutionary Biology, and I need to do you for thesis research. It’s a requirement.

4.) I lost my swipe card in Lamont, but can I still check you out?

5.) You need me in your sample size to prove with 95 percent confidence that you’re as good as all the Delphic guys say you are.

6.) If you thought your Math 21 pset was hard, wait until you get your hands on what’s in my pants right now.

7.) I know we’ve never met, but I’d like to back you up onto my hard drive sometime

8.) I know I’m not that hot, but I bet my GPA is higher than yours.

9.) Are you an econ major? Because I’d just love to get my invisible hand in your Slutsky matrix.

10.) If you think Positive Psych is easy, wait ’til you date me!

11.) Did you know that the average Harvard student has 0-0.5 partners a year? So if you have a threesome with me and your roommate, you’ll already be in the A-range of the bell curve!

12.) I don’t really have time for dating, but I’d love to be in a Facebook relationship.

13.) Hey baby, if you get with me, I’ll screw you harder than your Ec 10 final.

14.) I tried to draw a picture of your body on my TI-89, but the screen melted because you’re so hot.

15.) If you need another leadership position, we could be the co-founders of the True Lovin’ Revolution.