Scoped!: Brandon J. Ortiz '12
House: Westmorely Court (AdamsHouse)
Concentration: Romance (............LANGUAGES!) (GOTCHYA!!!)
Hometown: Cincinnasty, Ohio
Ideal date: 22 Feb. 2222
What you look for in a girl/guy:Charm, pizzazz, and the resilience to handle the unique challenges ofhaving been born a girl/guy.
Where to find you on a Saturday night: Good luck. Check the Kong first, then give up.
Your best pickup line: “Quit hitting yourself. Quit hitting yourself.”
Best or worst lie you’ve ever told: I am the door who always tells the truth.
Something you’ve always wanted to tell someone: “Thank you to The Crimson for selecting me as one of Harvard’s Fifteen Hottest Seniors.”
Favorite childhood activity: Drinking
Sexiest physical trait: Let’s just say, when I lay out, I burn. And when I burn, I peel. And when I peel, everything peels.
Best part about Harvard: That I was selected by The Crimson as one of Harvard’s Fifteen Hottest Seniors
Worst part about Harvard: Wait, so I’m not being selected as one of Harvard’s Fifteen Hottest Seniors? What the eff is “Scoped”?
Describe yourself in three words: Humiliated. Not hot. Why do things like this always have to happen to me when everyone’s watching?
In 15 minutes you are: I really don’t want to answer any more questions today.
In 15 years you are: Lawyer or seamstress