Stressed over the state of our union or depressed about the terrible weather? Continue putting off your countless pages of reading and psets and get your B.A.C. to the level of the national debt.
Anytime Obama employs one of his favorite oratorical tools—the dramatic pause—do a waterfall with the group until he starts talking again. (A waterfall is when one person starts, the person sitting next to them starts drinking, and so on around the circle—make sure to choose a different starting person everytime.)
Whenever the cameras flash to Michelle, the last person to finish five pushups has to take a drink.
Anytime the camera is on someone yawning, the group gets to choose one person to take a drink.
(If Biden is caught yawning—finish your drink.)
When the camera pans to Mitt Romney, stop drinking you anti-Mormon!
When Boehner cries—two drinks.
If Obama brings up immigration, smuggle a tequila shot across the border (of your lips).
If he brings up abortion—one belly shot. Gun control—shotgun a beer. Gay marriage—pair up with someone of the same gender, hook arms, and take a drink.
If Obama actually concisely tells us what the state of the union is, finish your drink.
If you're still alive/standing/conscious by the end of the program, drink until you are hopeful about the future of this country/the world.
Have fun getting Commander in Chief-faced!