The blog of The Harvard Crimson

America’s Hogwarts Brings Magic to Massachusetts

For years, Harvard students have clung to Annenberg Hall as their connection to the wizarding world of Harry Potter (if by some chance you haven’t already noticed, the freshman dining hall closely resembles Hogwarts’ Great Hall in the Potter movies).

However, if your fierce desire to attend a wizarding school is still unsatisfied (or if you just really can’t wait for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child to come out on July 31), have no fear. A few days ago, J.K. Rowling published new content on Pottermore.com revealing that a wizarding school is located in Massachusetts.

Established in the seventeenth century, Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry boasts its own four houses, traditions, and a reputation of being the least elitist of the wizarding schools. Rowling writes that Ilvermorny sits atop Massachusetts’ highest peak: Mount Greylock, just a few hours west of Harvard.

The textbook-style account of Ilvermorny’s history on Pottermore.com gives in-depth details about how the school came to be. According to Rowling, Ilvermorny’s Irish founder—an orphaned witch by the name of Isolt Sayre—was kidnapped as a child by her evil aunt, Gormlaith Gaunt (yes, that’s Gaunt as in the descendants of Salazar Slytherin).

Isolt was told all about Hogwarts as she grew up, but her aunt did not allow her to attend the school even when she received her letter. Rowling writes, “Hogwarts sounded like a kind of paradise and [Isolt] spent much of her teens fantasising about it.” Us too, Isolt, us too.

Eventually, Isolt escaped to North America—via the Mayflower, of course. Once arriving in the New World, she quickly set out on her own, sensing that she might not be too welcomed among so-called “No-Majs” (that’s the American term for Muggle). Isolt ultimately created Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry—not before several encounters with magical creatures, some experimental wand-making, and a dramatic duel.

Before you get too excited, Rowling did not specify whether Ilvermorny accepts college-age transfer students, but maybe they’re up for a neighborly game of quidditch?

Harvard College Admissions Joins Snapchat

Earlier this month, Harvard College Admissions and Financial Aid brought their communications game to a whole new level. Forget Facebook. Forget Twitter. Forget Instagram. Meet DiscoverHarvard, the College’s recently announced Snapchat handle, and surely its trendiest social media ventures to date.

Featuring Snaps from different student coordinators each day, the account provides a refreshingly personal and interactive view of campus life. Posts include everything from a video of dining hall food captioned “eat ur veggies” to a Snapsterpiece (a “Snapchat masterpiece” for the uninitiated) announcing an upcoming Q&A session in which questions can be submitted via Snapchat’s messaging feature and will be answered in videos.

The account aims to give prospective students a sneak peek of Harvard life, but we like to think DiscoverHarvard does not appeal exclusively to future students. It is summer after all, meaning many of us are currently not at school ourselves. Feeling a little homesick for Harvard? Don’t be embarrassed, just quietly add DiscoverHarvard and you can easily get your daily fix of student life in Cambridge.

According to the digital communications team behind DiscoverHarvard, Snaps from the account are getting over 2,000 views (no pressure to the students featured on the account). Regardless, given our undoubted enthusiasm about both Harvard and Snapchat, we’re sure DiscoverHarvard will be on our best friends list in no time.

Chipotle Spices up Menu with New Rewards (Read: Free Burritos)

For those of you whose wallets have been drained by late-night runs to Chipotle for burritos or slightly healthier (but not really) burrito bowls, don’t worry because your favorite pseudo-Mexican food joint is unveiling a new summer rewards program.

Until the end of September, “Chiptopia” will provide free food and merchandise to loyal and frequent customers. You can pick up your Chiptopia card starting on July 1 and swipe it with every Chipotle purchase above $6, about the price of a burrito with no extras. After four swipes, you will achieve “mild” status and earn a free entrée.

Four additional purchases in the same month will result in another free entrée and “medium” status. I don’t know about you, but I’ve always wanted to be recognized for the copious, perhaps irresponsible, sum of money I’ve spent at Chipotle. But the rewards don’t end there! If you make three more purchases, all within the same month, you will be awarded “hot” status along with—you guessed it—a third free entrée.

Only the most dedicated among us will qualify for the final round of prizes. If you achieve “mild” status all three months, you will win another free entrée (if that’s still appealing by October). If you make it to “medium” each month, you get $20 worth of Chipotle merchandise (to compliment all your Harvard gear). Finally, if you eat Chipotle 11 times a month for three months straight, you will win Chipotle catering for 20 people (valued at $240!).

Some theorize that this program only serves to rehabilitate Chipotle’s reputation after the restaurant's brush with E. coli last year, but hey, why not take advantage of free food?

7 Things with a Lower Acceptance Rate Than Harvard College

Whether this is your last summer as a Harvard student or only your first, at some point during these sunny months it may cross your mind how fortunate you are to be among the select few attending this renowned institution. Yes, Harvard College does have a dauntingly low acceptance rate of 5.2 percent, but before you give yourself too much credit, take a look at seven things with even lower acceptance rates:

A job as an NBC Page: 4.6% acceptance rate

With responsibilities ranging from working in various departments to giving tours of the studio, the page program at the National Broadcasting Company has an acceptance rate of just 4.6 percent, according a 2016 Business Insider report. I mean, it’s not as cool as working at the Crimson, but we can’t all get lucky.

An analyst position at Goldman Sachs: 3% acceptance rate

Next time that annoying kid in your Econ section starts talking about how she’s a shoo-in for Goldman, whip out this statistic: the multinational banking firm reported hiring just 3 percent of applicants in 2015, including summer interns.

A job at Walmart in Washington D.C.: 2.6% acceptance rate

When Walmart first opened in Washington D.C. in 2013, the company reported that its employee acceptance rate was 2.6 percent. In other words, Walmart is twice as selective as Harvard College. Mull that over next time you’re wandering the aisles of this big box retailer.

A job as a flight attendant for Delta Airlines: 1.4% acceptance rate

It is almost four times harder to become a flight attendant for Delta Airlines than it is to be accepted by Harvard College, the company announced in 2012. At cruising altitude of 39,000 feet, their career is literally higher than yours will ever be.

Admission to McDonald’s Hamburger University in Shanghai: 1% acceptance rate

The Shanghai branch of McDonald’s Hamburger University—a global training center developed by the fast food company—is much harder to get into than Harvard College, with an acceptance rate of only 1 percent as of 2011, according to Bloomberg News. So while you may think that your CS50 pset is a struggle, just think about the complex equations that go into making the perfect krabby patty—er, Big Mac.

A job as a Secret Service agent: Less than 1% acceptance rate

The acceptance rate for becoming a Secret Service agent was somewhere below 1 percent in 2011, Bloomberg News reported. But you know what? We can’t even complain. We think everyone’s okay with the fact that the agency protecting our president—and our soon-to-be classmate Malia—is a little more selective than Harvard College, right?

A job at Google: 0.2% acceptance rate

The employee acceptance rate at Google is a measly 0.2 percent, the company’s head of Human Resources said in 2014. If Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn gave you any hope of working for this tech company in their movie The Internship, now might be a good time to come up with a backup plan. Maybe Bing has some openings? Or Yahoo? We’re not sure, just Google it.

Tennis Star Maria Sharapova Swings into Harvard Business School

Home to scholars, artists, and even A-listers, Harvard Business School has accepted five-time Grand Slam winner and one of the highest paid female athletes, tennis player Maria Sharapova.

You may think this means you have found a new doubles partner or even a new yoga buddy, but unfortunately Sharapova will only be at Harvard for a two week summer program.

It may seem odd that a world-class athlete can spare the time to attend Harvard, even if only for a couple weeks, but earlier this year, Sharapova tested positive for meldonium, a recently banned substance, and received a two-year suspension from the International Tennis Federation. Sharapova is appealing the case, although many of us secretly hope her suspension allows her to extend her stay at Harvard.

On Saturday, Sharapova tweeted a picture of herself at Harvard Business School with the caption, “Not sure how this happened but Hey Harvard! Can't wait to start the program!”

Sharapova accompanies other celebrities, such as actor Channing Tatum, rapper LL Cool J, Chicago Bulls center Pau Gasol, and LA Clippers point guard Chris Paul on the HBS campus. Since these A-listers will be attending Harvard at different times throughout the summer, we recommend investing in a lawn chair to make your celebrity stalking experience a bit more comfortable.

This Week at Harvard: Get Out of the Bubble

Okay, we relent. Harvard is amazing during the summertime. The yard looks beautiful (even though every inch of it is covered with tourists), and the houses look resplendent with all of their trees in bloom and their gardens and courtyards soaked in afternoon sunlight. But as great as Harvard looks during the summer, Boston, Cambridge, and Somerville look even better; the towns truly come alive during the summer.

So what does that mean for you? It means that it’s time to stop instagramming Harvard buildings and venture beyond the bubble. With the Fourth of July on the horizon, Boston organizations are gearing up for one of the most event-packed weekends of the summer. Check out these cool events happening throughout the greater Boston area.

Harvard Farmers Market
Tuesday at noon | Science Center Plaza

The Science Center might be going through renovations, but the Science Center Plaza is still busy. Every Tuesday, vendors from across the city come and gather under the Science Center tent for Harvard’s weekly farmers market, featuring fresh fruit, jam, and our personal favorite: apple cider. Even if you’re living all the way out in the Quad, you should make your way over to the Farmer’s Market for some fresh, healthy food. After all, you can only eat so many nachos before your body starts to wilt due to malnutrition.

Grown Up StoryTime with BooTown
Wednesday at 7 p.m. | 14 Tyler St., Somerville

Not those kind of grown up stories. Ew. No, remember when your parents used to read you stories before bed? This is sort of like that, but instead of cookies and milk, you can plop down with a nice can of beer and your closest friends at this event hosted by BooTown Boston. It works like this: the organization collect hilarious, heartwarming, and downright outrageous short stories ahead of the event, and then invites artists and performers from around the area to read them aloud. Check out the event at Aeronaut Brewing Company’s stage. The event is pay-what-you-can, though the organizers suggest that you bring $5 per person so that they can pay their artists. It’s a fun, alternative way to enjoy yourself during the evening, and a great way to get away from campus without breaking your bank.

Movie Night at Fenway Park
Wednesday at 7 p.m. | Fenway Park

Depending on how old you are, you may or may not be aware that Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is one of the best movies to ever grace the big screen. Fenway Park is helping Boston celebrate the movie’s 30th anniversary (sorry if that just made you feel old, 80’s kids) on Wednesday with a movie night at the stadium. The usual Fenway Park fan fare—food, gear, and beer— will be available. General admissions tickets are $10 for adults and $5 for children 12 and under. Keep an eye out on the weather because the movie will run rain or shine. Gates open at 7 p.m., and the movie starts around 8:15 p.m.

T: an MBTA Musical
Friday at 10 p.m. | 255 Elm St., Somerville

If you’ve ever been royally pissed at the T, and all of the rest of MBTA’s public transportation, then this musical is perfect for you. Hosted at the Davis Square Theater, the musical is a quirky telling of twenty-somethings and their attempts to circumvent the screwed up machinations of Boston’s premier transportation agency. The price is a little steep ($25), but it’ll be a hilarious way to kick off a weekend, and will put you smack-dab in the center of one of Boston’s most culturally thriving squares.

Boston Harborfest
July 1 - 4 | Boston

Boston Harborfest is one Boston’s annual Fourth of July traditions. The opening ceremony starts on Friday with the 215th Army Band kicking off the celebration at Faneuil Hall at noon. Later that evening, you can enjoy live entertainment and a movie screening at Columbus Park around 6 p.m. Check out the event's website for a full rundown of all of the 100+ activities and events running throughout the weekend.

HUPD Summer Crime Log: 6/1-6/15

Schools out, and Harvard students have spread far and wide from New York to Washington, DC to take finance and consulting internships. But even though we're off having fun (or at least making money), the brave men and women of HUPD continue to defend our campus. Let's see what those pesky summer school students are getting up to:

June 1
Officers dispatched to a report of individuals possibly vandalizing the statue. Officers arrived and report individuals gone on arrival and no vandalism done to statue.
None that you can see…

June 2
Officer dispatched to take a report of annoying messages left on an individual's phone.
Bruh, they won’t let me leave this group chat.

June 3
Officer dispatched to take a report of a stolen package containing Pomade hair products valued at $32.00.
Update 6/6/16: Upon further investigation this incident had been previously reported. The individual's property was not stolen but held for safekeeping.
No, Becky, I did not take your hair products.

June 7
Officer dispatched to take a report of annoying emails.
No, I will not give you an extension, Jimmy. The school year’s over already!

June 7
Officer dispatched to a report of three individuals possibly smoking marijuana. Officer arrived, located individuals and report a cigarette being put out with a strong odor of marijuana coming from it. At this time, additional officers were notified and on scene. While the three individuals were being run for wants/warrants which came back with negative results, two of the officers discovered drug paraphernalia and also marijuana near the three individuals. An officer then issued all three individuals with verbal trespass warnings for all Harvard University property. The individuals were then sent on their way and the marijuana and drug paraphernalia were confiscated.
The real question is what happened after the marijuana was confiscated…

June 7
Officer dispatched to a report of a damaged sprinkler head. Officer arrived and report no damage done.
Lolz made you look.

June 9
Officer dispatched to take a report of an attempted forcible break into a vending machine.
The damn thing wouldn’t give me my gummy bears!

June 10
Officers dispatched to a report of four individuals in the area who may not have authorization to be there. Officers arrived, located individuals and report individuals were part of a moving company and were allowed to be in the area.
I mean, if you want to carry this futon, officer, be my guest.

June 14
Officer on detail sent an unwanted guest on their way.
S.O.S my crazy ex is stalking me again

June 15
Officers dispatched to a report of an individual in the area urinating on the side of the building. Officers arrived and report individual gone on arrival.
You just couldn’t wait till you got back to the Quad, could you?

June 15
Officer dispatched to take a report of a stolen Android cell phone valued at $300.00.
The real question is why did the person have an Android?

June 15
Officer while on patrol observed a small mulch fire. BFD arrived on scene and extinguished fire.
Just making my monthly sacrifice to the Lord of Light, you know. Gotta keep the face looking young.

This Week at Harvard: It’s Summer, Let’s Dance!

Today marks the official start to summer (if you couldn’t tell by the steadily rising temperatures) which means, above anything else, it’s time to start having some real fun and seriously question your decision to trade your air-conditioned house for a hot dorm during the summer.

For people hanging around Harvard, the sad reality that parties are “prohibited” in dorms for the next few months might have seemed like the death knell for your turn up plans this summer. But never fear: Flyby has you covered with our weekly rundown of all the fun activities and events going on in Cambridge and Boston this week.

Weeks in the Summer
People canoe under Weeks footbridge on the Charles River in mid-June.

Summer Solstice Celebration
Monday at 5 p.m. | 11 Divinity Avenue

Harvard Museums of Science and Culture are kicking off the summer with food, fun, and performances at their Summer Solstice celebration on Monday night. The event is completely free to the public (none of that Harvard ID business), and it features free admission to four of Harvard’s coolest museums and a sweet lineup of local food trucks. What says summer better than counting down the solstice with friends and a nice cone of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream?

Central Square City Dance Party
Friday at 7 p.m. | Central Square

Who needs a cramped and hot dorm when you can dance your heart out in the middle of the street (this time without almost getting hit by a car—looking at you late-night yardlings walking back from House parties and goofing about on Mass. Ave)? Cambridge’s City Council must’ve been thinking about us when they decided to throw a dance party in Central Square. The party is free and open to the public, meaning you’ll get to jiggy to Drake’s “One Dance” with thousands of Cambridge residents (and tourists!). The entire square will be “closed to traffic but open for dancing,” so there’s no excuse not to get out of the Harvard bubble.

The Summer Social “White Party”
Saturday at 8 p.m. | William James Hall

Speaking of parties, the Harvard Extension Business Society and Harvard Extension Student Association are throwing an all-white party atop William James Hall this Saturday. If you want to party on the roof of one of the windiest buildings on campus (and you are 21+), head out to this sweet summer event. There will be an open bar, food, and live music from Boston’s DJ Alexander Padei. Check out the event's Facebook page to reserve your tickets ($12 early bird, $15 regular).

Harvard Movie Night
Saturday at 6:30 p.m. | Science Center Hall B

Summer School students (and anyone with a Harvard ID, really) have it lucky: Harvard is hosting weekly movie nights every Friday and Saturday night through July 30th. And we’re not talking old movies that you’ve probably seen a million times; these are recent blockbusters. First up for this Saturday is Jurassic World, so if you’re a dinosaur fan, or if you just want to see Chris Pratt make quips at CGI-beasts, then head over to Science Center Hall B to catch the flick.

Shameless Binging
Anytime | Your Room

Bet you didn’t see this one coming. While we’re all for getting out of bed and actually doing things with our lives, when else do Harvard students get the chance to binge relentlessly, without fear of wasting valuable time that could be spent psetting or trying to save the world? If you haven’t already burnt through the new season of Orange is the New Black, then take Sunday to plop down in front of your TV or phone and lose yourself in one of Netflix’s best shows. Unfortunately, there might not be much “Netflix and Chilling” going on given how hot these summer dorms get, but you’re all smart. You can make it work.

HUDS is Giving Us New (and Hopefully Better) Coffee

Back in April, we here at Flyby got wind of HUDS’ plan to replace the coffee served in dining halls. HUDS coffee rarely lights a fire in even the most sleep-deprived eyes, being the kind of beverage one consumes out of necessity rather than for pleasure. But what is Harvard if not a place where our dining options are constantly changing—what ever happened to swai, anyway? We here at Flyby welcomed the prospect of a new brew to wake us up halfway through our 10 a.m. lecture… we mean, bright and early at a dignified hour of the morning.

The competition was fierce among our 4 worthy contenders: Peet’s, Pierce Bros., Sun Coffee Roasters, and the incumbent Seattle’s Best. Our Flyby coffee experts came down in Peet’s corner, for sound and legitimate reasons, and then along with the rest of the student population, patiently awaited (and probably forgot about) the result of the competition.

Well, wait no longer folks, because we finally have a verdict for you:

Yes, the winner was Pierce Bros. coffee. The Greenfield, Mass. company uses only organic and Fair Trade beans. Their air-roasted beans apparently provide a smoother and less bitter taste, two attributes we can all agree our coffee choices at breakfast could do with having.

Welcome to Harvard, Pierce Bros.! We’re excited to have the fog of Orgo busted by your air-roasted beans this fall.

Greenhouse Cafe Will be Back

Earlier this year, we reported that Greenhouse Cafe—literally one of the last viable food options on campus after Panera, Au Bon Pain, b.good et al decided to end their long relationship with Harvard students and pursue “other” interests—was closing down after commencement.

Cue the waterworks. Of course we were DEVASTATED.

But dry your tears because we here at Flyby just found out that the Cafe will be coming back. That’s right, you’ll have someplace to grab a decent pizza slice and an iced chai latte on your way to your LS1b lecture again. There’s just one catch: it’s not coming back for a while.

Faculty of Arts and Sciences spokesperson Anna Cowenhoven shot us an email letting us know that Harvard is “anticipating re-opening the Library, as well as the Cafe, in 2017.”

We lowkey only care about the cafe, but I bet the daily inhabitants of the Science Center will be happy to know that Cabot’s study space will be back soon—and apparently looking pretty dope. Have you seen the design plans for the new center? Talk about a step into the future.

Let’s just hope that this little victory does not mean that bad news is on the horizon. We wouldn’t be able to take it if Felipe’s closed. *knocks on wood*

HBS Goes A-List with Channing Tatum

Harvard’s campus is normally filled with distinguished academics. This year, though, we were blessed with a seemingly sudden outpour of Hollywood superstars. Steven Spielberg as Commencement speaker, Rashida Jones at Class Day. And then to have Carrie Fisher, Princess Leia herself, stroll casually through campus was a truly jaw dropping, oh-my-god-facebook-look-at-how-cool-my-school-is moment. The litany of A-listers continued: Conan O’Brien, Kerry Washington, Joseph Gordon Levitt

So you would think we Harvard students would have enough to brag about, right? Think again. Channing Tatum—yes, the Channing Tatum, who almost never sports a shirt on the big screen—enrolled in an executive education course about entertainment, media, and sports at Harvard Business School.

Cue the fangirling and ready the iPhone cameras. Some grade-A selfie opportunities are on the horizon. Heck, even his professor couldn’t resist bragging about hooking and reeling in the Hollywood star. Business School professor Anita Elberse, head of the course, tweeted out from her account (@anitaelberse) “So yeah, this is happening. Four legends signed up to take my ExecEd course." Only at @HarvardHBS! #HBSExecEd”

Joining Tatum in the course is L.L Cool J, and NBA stars Pau Gasol and Chris Paul. If Harvard College students could cross-register into the class, you’d bet Elberse’s course enrollment would dwarf even the likes of Mankiw and Malan.

YDN: What is a ‘Finals’ club?

YDN-finals-clubs
Do your research, YDN!
Last week, when we heard the news about final clubs and the Harvard administration, we turned to our most trusted source for all things Harvard: the Yale Daily News. With rumors about protests and cover photos of Alpha Phi sorority squats flooding our newsfeeds, we were eager to learn the facts. What was all this hubbub about the clubs?

The Yale Daily News, as ever, was a reliable source. The headline read: “Harvard moves against finals clubs, greek organizations.” Immediately, we were confused. What is a “finals club?” Is it different from a final club? Does it have to do with our exams? In fact, what exactly is a final club, anyway?

To our dismay, the Yale Daily News story answered none of our pressing questions. Beyond the erroneous reference to “finals clubs” (which was eventually corrected), the story does not make clear a number of key facts. What exactly is a final club? What are their membership policies? Can women join final clubs? Why does Dean Khurana think they are exclusive? How are final clubs different from “Greek organizations” (by that we assume you mean fraternities and sororities? And not the Harvard Classics Club?)

Instead of answers, we, the curious readers, were treated to a healthy, if not clarifying, dosage of verbiage and vageuties. Apparently, final clubs are “organizations.” Thank you, YDN.

Just when we thought we had reached the nadir of our confusion, the YDN hit us (or, rather, Dean Khurana) with the most passive-aggressive sentence we’ve seen since the last community update on mumps.

“Rather than sanction all Greek organizations or senior societies, Yale has attempted to expand their inclusivity and oversight,” the author writes.

The moral of the story here, dear reader, is that if you ever find yourself in need of information about what is happening on Harvard’s campus, turn to The Crimson, not outside media sources. They may not get it quite right. And YDN, in the immortal words of The Social Network’s Mark Zuckerberg: “Final clubs… not finals clubs.”

Meet Brett Culbert, Creator of the Prince $20 Bill

Last week, an image of Prince photoshopped onto a $20 bill went viral. But the image’s creator, Graduate School of Design Ph.D. student Brett Culbert, never got his fifteen minutes of fame.

After Culbert and his friend decided to post the image on Reddit with the title “party like it’s $19.99”—mixing one of Prince’s most popular songs, “1999,” with the news that Harriet Tubman would replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 dollar bill—the photoshopped image spread like wildfire.

On Twitter, one user’s post including the image amassed over 5,000 retweets. Everyone from random users to journalists reposted the image.

Then came the celebrities. Questlove, a performer in The Roots, and comedians Margaret Cho and Amy Sedaris posted the image to their Instagrams without attributing the work to Culbert.

Culbert tried to reach out to some of the celebs so he could alert them to the fact that he was the creator, but he didn’t know how to contact them. His only option was to comment on their feeds, an effort that was quickly drowned out by loads of other comments.

Culbert, a History of Art and Architecture student, said he is against putting watermarks on his creations. He doesn’t see the image as a work of art or as something that is “necessarily original,” given that he photoshopped the bill from two other publicly available images.

“I really like the internet because it’s this free space,” Culbert said.

Culbert came up with the idea and created the image this past Friday. “He had such amazing hair, and Andrew Jackson had amazing hair, and I just kind of merged those two things,” Culbert said. “I was just messing around.”

He then woke up the following morning to the news that his image was all over the place. Culbert is still amazed by how quickly it spread, and by how viral memes can transcend generations.

“Some of my friends were like, ‘Oh my mom just posted that on Facebook!’” he said.

Flyby Horoscopes: May (Summer Job Edition)

Flyby exec and amateur astrologist Kyle E. O’Hara counts many things among her talents—her impressive ability to drink Diet Coke before 10 a.m., her dogged pursuit of the position of El Jefe’s #1 customer, and her remarkable skill at napping at inopportune times. But most prominent of these talents is her questionable-at-best ESP. Check back on the first of each month for your Flyby Horoscope, courtesy of Kyle.

The stars have provided a different brand of inspiration this month. I’m here to report what summer job you should have based on your sign. If the opportunity you’ve found doesn’t match what I’ve reported here, you might want to check your birth certificate and make sure you didn’t misremember your birthday. This is a foolproof science.

TAURUS: See you on Wall Street, Taurus. Enjoy your internship with JP.

GEMINI: You may not have a job yet, but good things are coming your way. Just stay optimistic and keep scheduling interviews. Everything is going to work out.

CANCER: Whatever you’ll be doing, Cancer, I’m glad to report that it’s something you care about. Congrats on evading stereotypes and finding fulfillment in your career.

LEO: Working for a nonprofit? That’s awesome! Please just don't put it in your Tinder bio.

VIRGO: Backpacking across Europe is most definitely not a job, but have fun anyway. You’re going to have the best stories come September.

LIBRA: Libra, how are you so chill about still not even knowing where you’re going to live this summer? Yolo-ing summer plans is definitely fun, but you’re cutting it close.

SCORPIO: You may be another Harvard stereotype, but at least you’re not going into consulting. Congratulations on the dope CS internship.

SAGITTARIUS: Where do you even find such a bizarre, off-the-wall internship like that? You’re definitely the most successful Crimson Careers user on this campus.

CAPRICORN: Glad to hear your startup is taking off, Capricorn. Being your own boss for the summer is going to be tons of fun.

AQUARIUS: Taking the summer off to focus on yourself definitely counts as a job, and you’re probably going to be the most successful in the long term.

PISCES: Got hired for someone else’s startup? Zoinks. At least you’re going to get wild stories out of this experience.

ARIES: A job that pays well and doesn’t want to steal your soul? Good luck finding that.

Malia Obama Can't Get Enough of Harvard

Obama Comes to Boston
Obama in Boston last fall.

UPDATED: May 1, 2016, at 9:09 p.m.

It seems like Malia Obama just can’t get enough of Harvard.

After touring campus last spring, then visiting again last semester, Malia will study at Harvard College starting in 2017.

2017? Yup, she’s taking a gap year. I guess that means one year less of our friendship.

Rumors about Malia’s much-anticipated college decision started swirling yesterday after an image of her wearing a Harvard t-shirt spread like wildfire on social media, about which the media outlet the Tab reported.

Early Sunday morning the White House announced officially that Malia will attend Harvard. Having the White House announce your college decision sure beats that Facebook status I posted (which got a lot of likes!) announcing my decision.

Malia will make up part of Harvard College’s Class of 2021, a class year that makes me feel really old, even though I’m only a sophomore.

She will continue the Obama family tradition of claiming Harvard as their stomping grounds. Both of Malia’s parents (Mr. President and the First Lady, in case you were not already aware) attended Harvard Law School.

The elephant in the room though: given this tradition of Obamas at Harvard, will Sasha, Malia’s 14-year old sister, feel pressure to go to the same school? Only time will tell.

Malia, if you’re reading this, comp The Crimson. I promise we’re fun and normal. Follow me on Twitter too: @ignacio_sabate.

Things To Do This Reading Period

Reading period is right around the corner! And that means two extremely important things: it’s finally going to be consistently warm enough for shorts and, with classes finally over, you’ll have ample time to spare. Take advantage of the gorgeous weather (before it gets disgustingly hot and humid) to spend some time outside the classroom. Close those books, escape the Harvard bubble, and give yourself some time for well deserved fun.

Take that trek into Boston you’ve been meaning to make since freshman year and have a picnic with friends at Boston Commons, head over to Six Flags New England for some thrilling rides, take a road trip (or the T) to Revere Beach, stroll around the harbor, shop at Newbury Street, or walk the Freedom Trail. If you prefer to stay local, go kayaking in the Charles, finally jump off Weeks Bridge, and bike along the riverbank.

For those of you who prefer less physically excruciating activities, there’s still plenty to do! Instead of lying around watching Netflix, head on over to the movies, attend a Red Sox game, eat dinner at the North End, go to the Ballet, or visit one of Boston’s many museums.

If you’re an art aficionado, sip wine alongside friends (or the crush you’re trying to woo before the semester wraps up) while you recreate cool Bostonian cityscapes at Boston’s Paint Bar. And if you’re an animal lover, consider visiting the New England Aquarium (my favorite are the cute Little Blue Penguins) or even go whale watching in the harbor.

So close that book you haven’t actually been reading and leave the bubble for a day (or maybe two). This is the perfect excuse to keep with the Harvard tradition of starting your work at the last minute.


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