The blog of The Harvard Crimson

Your Guide to Pre-Yardfest Events

I think we can all agree that college is the place for free food (and, uh, studying …). So, with Yardfest just a day away, you’re all probably wondering how to snag as much free food as you can before you head over to Tercentenary Theater to get cake thrown in your face (more free food?). Don’t worry, we here at FlyBy have you covered.

Thanks to the UC, the Office of Student Life, and the HoCos, each house neighborhood will have their own block party where you can get hyped for Yardfest starting at 3pm tomorrow afternoon. All block parties are open to all undergraduates, and free Yardfest t-shirts and bro-tanks are available at each block party.

Here’s where you should be heading tomorrow afternoon for free food and fun:

River East (a.k.a. Dunster, Leverett, and Mather): Head over to Leverett Courtyard to indulge in pizza, Felipe's nachos, popcorn, and cotton candy. Lev Towers promises to have music from the student band Foxpack, ice cream from 4:00-4:30pm, and a bouncy castle, where you may experience just a little childhood nostalgia.

River West (a.k.a Eliot, Kirkland, and Winthrop): Winthrop Gore Courtyard will also feature delicious food and great music.

Central (a.k.a Adams, Lowell, and Quincy): Come over to Lowell Courtyard tomorrow afternoon for cotton candy and an inflatable obstacle course. This block party also promises to have music, games, and more.

Quad: Visit the Quad lawn tomorrow (I know what you’re all thinking…) for Felipe's nachos and churros. You’ll also be able to listen to music from a live DJ while sliding down a giant inflatable slide. Look out for the photo booth where you’ll be take all of your pre-Yardfest photos.

So, take a break from stressing about the impending reading period and finals week and head over to one of the free neighborhood block parties to distract yourself from catching up on the work you’ll need to do for that one class you may or may not have gone to lecture for this semester.

Steve Aoki Drinking Games

What’s a yardfest without a pre-game? Flyby has you covered with the best Steve Aoki themed drinking game that you’ve never played. Gather your friends, ready the shot glasses, and throw on his Youtube channel (not Spotify, because 75% of the Steve Aoki experience is watching him perform.)

Take a shot everytime the beat drops. This should be a given. After all, what’s EDM without a sick beat drop?

Alternatively, take a shot every time you think the beat is going to drop, but it doesn’t. You’ll be an equal mix of embarrassed and disappointed, so taking the shot will help to take your mind off of that.

Finish your drink every time he cakes someone, and cross your fingers that that won’t be you on Sunday.

Take a shot everytime the camera pans to that one person dancing wildly out-of-step with the crowd, and silently salute them for really knowing how to turn up.

Take a shot every time you come across a song that you’ve heard before, but didn’t realized that it featured Aoki. Aka the entire soundtrack to Project X. And then skip over to read our Steve Aoki Study Guide.

Now, when we say “take a shot” we do hope you that understand that we mean a shot of water. Stay well hydrated everyone! It may not be projected to be terribly warm on Sunday, but we predict that there will be a considerable amount of thirst going around.

HUPD Crime Log 4/13-4/19

April 13, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of two stolen packages containing a pair of orange Nike sneakers valued at $84.00.
Orange sneakers? Maybe this is for the best.

April 14, 2016
Officer dispatched to a report of a fire in one of the kitchens. Officer arrived and report no fire just the odor of burnt food.
There’s something fishy about this, salmon to be exact, with capers.

April 15, 2016
Officer dispatched to a report of an unattended bag on a bench. Officer arrived and report negative results.
“The stray bag population sure has exploded lately.” “We’re too late, men, the cat’s already out.”

April 15, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of a stolen black Buddy-50 moped valued at $400.00 and a chain lock valued at $150.00,
Honestly, I don't know nothin' about mopeds...

April 16, 2016
Officer dispatched to a report of a mulch fire. Officer arrived and CFD on scene and put out small mulch fire.
Come through, it’s lit. No really, it’s the shit.

April 16, 2016
Officers dispatched to a report of loud noise coming from the area. Officers arrived and report area quiet.
The best police officer is a deaf police officer.

April 18, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of a past bomb threat.
Come on, the LS1b midterm can’t be that bad.

April 18, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of vandalism done to clothes.
Ahh yes, the midnight tie-dye-er strikes again

April 19, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of annoying phone calls two individuals received.
When your two booty calls turn out to be roommates...

Check back next Friday for our next installment of HUPD Crime Log!

Stop Being Gross, Pfoho

Good news: Pfoho residents are using condoms! Bad news: They've been disposing of said condoms by... throwing them out the window?

Yeah, you read that right. There is at least one person living in Pfoho that has repeatedly thrown their condoms out of their windows once they've gotten laid.

Seriously, who even does this kind of thing? Invest in a trash can, bro.

From an email sent to Pfoho students by Mario Leon, Pfoho Building Manager: “It has come to my attention that used condoms have been found on the ground and hanging from the tree outside next to the Comstock Hall entrance. I have been told by the landscapers working around the building as well as other Pfoho residents that this continues to be a problem.”

“This is very inappropriate and disrespectful to the people who contribute to our community by working hard to maintain the property,” Leon said. “It is also disgusting for anyone who may see a used condom when they look out their window.”

So, from us at Flyby to you, offending Pfoho student(s): this is absolutely revolting. Sure, some Houses are going through rough times with students leaving dirty dishes in hallways and such, but this is on an entirely new level. Do better, Pfoho. Do better.

Steve Aoki: A Yardfest Study Guide

Harvard students have been abuzz since the announcement that Steve Aoki will be the artist performing at this year’s Yardfest. The popular electro-house musician is well known for his collaborations with artists such as Lil Jon, Afrojack, and will.i.am, as well as remixes of popular songs by artists such as Kid Cudi.

But in typical Yardfest fashion, booked artists have been out of the limelight for a few years. So, what has Aoki been up to recently?

In 2012, Aoki’s popularity peaked with the success of the movie Project X. His remix of Cudi’s song, “Pursuit of Happiness,” helped the movie clinch a nomination for best music at the MTV Movie Awards. Since then, it appears Aoki’s popularity has been on the decline. A simple Google Trends search of his name reveals that since 2013, the number of Google searches of his name have been decreasing.

It appears that in 2013, Aoki was doing a lot of collaborations with artists ranging from Linkin Park, Diplo, and Deorro. While Aoki wasn’t releasing new albums, he was creating tracks that were used in various movies and commercials. His collaboration with Linkin Park, “A Light That Never Comes,” was featured in Expendables 3. Curiously, he also appeared in an anti-fur advertisement for PETA.

In 2014 and 2015, Aoki reemerged as a major player in the electronic music scene, appearing in nearly 100 concerts all over the world. Several of his songs were featured in the movies Step Up: All In and 22 Jump Street. In September of 2014, Aoki released his new album “Neon Future I,” which reached No. 32 on the Billboard 200. His most popular song from the album, “Delirious,” can still be heard blasting on Mt. Auburn some weekends. You probably heard it over the radio since it was played every five seconds, or maybe in one of the numerous Scion commercials featuring Aoki.

Aoki also made the news in 2015 when he announced a change to his cake policy. One of the hallmarks of his concerts has been that he would take a cake and throw it into the crowd. Now, Aoki says he will only throw cake at crowds at headline shows and a few other select venues.

The highly awaited documentary by Justin Krook of Aoki’s life and his rise to fame, I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead, premiered last Friday night at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York at the Beacon Theatre.

While Aoki has been pretty low-key for a few years, he is again ramping up excitement for his high energy shows and his 2015 performances have often been dubbed “awesome” and “amazing” by concert goers. Thus, Aiko’s up-tempo songs and performances should create quite a lively atmosphere at Yardfest, so let’s all get ready to be awed! And who knows, maybe it’ll be you who gets caked in the face.

Don’t Kid Yourself, Prefrosh. It’s Harvard.

Dear Prefrosh,

You’ve had your Visitas weekend, got your free drawstring backpack, slept on a common room couch, heard about Harvard’s courses and extracurricular activities, and maybe got a taste of Harvard’s bumping social scene. Now it’s time to make your decision.

Maybe you need pictures of Gothic architecture for Instagram, and you’re drawn to an odd village called New Haven. Maybe ever since watching High School Musical 3, you’ve been idealizing that West Coast college life. Maybe you want to be close to home because you don’t know how to do laundry (or maybe because you will just miss your family).

Whatever is causing you to be undecided, take it from us: Harvard is your top choice.

Here’s why:

1. Getting to eat in the Great Hall at Hogwarts: Harvard’s freshman get to eat in Annenberg Hall, which is basically the Great Hall in Hogwarts. Yale’s dining hall looks like Durmstrang’s, and who even goes there?

2. The Harvard Square Turkey: Harvard’s unofficial mascot (because what is a Crimson) is a turkey. A physical live turkey that can be found roaming Harvard Yard and the streets around it. There’s nothing quite like running into a turkey on your way to class. Your other choice’s mascot animal 1) probably isn’t alive and just can’t compete.

3. Lowell Tea: Lowell Tea is what your friends envision social life at Harvard to be. Every Thursday, live out your inner Princess Diana and sip tea out of porcelain teacups and eat pastries. You’ll be sad at any other school when your classiest teatime experience is drinking Lipton out of a take-out paper dixie cup.

4. Tourists: Not everyone gets to go to school in a tourist attraction. Nothing makes you feel more special than waking up and looking out your window to see 30 tourists taking hundreds of photos of your building. Competing for sidewalk space is just too great an experience to give up to go to your other, quiet, isolated school.

5. Primal Scream: Nothing says tradition like taking your clothes off and screaming in Harvard Yard the night before final exams! Even if you don’t do it, there’s nothing quite like pausing your studying to see a naked mob run a lap outside your window. Other schools’ traditions include chugging 15 cups of espresso and pulling three consecutive all-nighters, but that’s just not fun without the chance to get naked too.

There you have it—loud and clear—Harvard is unequivocally your top choice. See you in the fall.

Love,

Flyby

Courting Your Section Crush

Take Section Crush to Crema
The coffee date of you wildest dreams

With only a little over a week left of class, you’re running out of time to take that relationship with your section crush to the next level. Not to fear! Flyby has some advice to make the most out of your last few days of the semester.

Coffee
If you haven’t had the guts to talk to your crush all semester, now is your chance! For those of us that prefer to be more casual, coffee straddles that perfect line between classmate and friend. You’ve probably been looking for the perfect string of words to woo your crush for weeks. Of course you know that you could just ask that one to grab Crema with you after class, but that would be too logical.

Lunch
Keep it simple, tell your crush that you want to grab a meal with them. However, with no Panera, Al’s, or Au Bon Pain, your options are going to be pretty limited as far as sandwiches go. We’ve heard HUDS serves a mean Crispy Fish sandwich on Tuesdays. If the dining hall isn’t really your scene, there’s always an awkward conversation to be had in Greenhouse Cafe while you run down your BoardPlus, before you lose Greenhouse forever.

Study Buddy
With finals rapidly approaching, your section crush is going to need someone to study with for that exam. We’ve heard that the basement of Lamont makes a great first date location to hammer out those readings together. The Widener stacks are also rumored to be a good spot, but some might take that to be a little too forward.

Section Crush is your TF
Too bad. Not only are they tired of grading your mediocre work, but they’re also tired of watching you daydream while they teach. Our advice? Wait until the semester is over. It will be much less awkward to chat them up once they are no longer responsible for your grade.

Hope for next semester?
Chances are that if you’re in section once, you can probably find another class with them again. Hey, isn’t that what shopping week is for?

Bottom line, our advice at Flyby is “Go for it!” With only a few more days, what’s the worst that could happen? Your section crush probably won’t say no (unless you’re “section kid,” of course.) And even if they do, you’ll be able to spend all of reading period hiding in your room from the shame, and you won’t even have to skip class to do it.

What to do with the Last Two Weeks of School

Although we aren't sure if this is good news or bad, there are less than two weeks left of the semester. Two weeks, people. Whether that makes you jump for joy or sink deeper under you growing pile of papers and review sheets, Flyby’s got you covered with the best ways to take advantage of the beautiful spring weather and looming deadlines.

Have a mid-college crisis…or a three-quarters college crisis…or a one-quarter college crisis…whatever works for you.

We kid, we kid. As we (hopefully) proved to most of the pre-frosh this weekend, Harvard is a fun and happening place. But being swamped in work and behind on your projects is not a bad time to start wondering what you’re doing this all for. If you’re stressed, you can take a run or two around the Charles and watch happy people picnic along the river.

Complain because it’s finally warm out but there’s too much work to enjoy the weather.
It feels like only last week there was a massive pile of snow in the Science Center Plaza...because it was a week ago. With temperatures in the 60s--70s by Thursday!--Lamont is the last place you want to be. That’s what Lamont Cafe is for: strike up a conversation and complain your heart out to anyone who will commiserate with you.

Spend time with friends.
Not that there aren’t some who you’re going to Skype everyday over the summer. But, really, you’re not going to see them for a few months, so it’s better now than never to form a closer bond with that pset group, or share more memories with your blockmates. You could find yourself across the world from one another this summer, so enjoy the little time you have together until next semester. And, if you’re up to it make a new friend. The school year isn’t over just yet!

Use that Boardplus.
Or loan some to a needy friend. Whether you have 50 dollars left or five, word has it that it doesn’t carry over to next year. Use it buy yourself a late and caffeinated night in Lamont Cafe, or treat yourself to some Greenhouse goodies. I personally recommend Greenhouse’s Odwalla smoothies--trying all the flavors will put that money to use.

Clean your room.
Even if it’s the first time all semester. Or year. It’s a great way to convince yourself you’re starting anew, even though (shocker!) there are less than two weeks left of the semester. It’s also the best end-of-the-year gift you can give your roommate. More than that, it’s the perfect way to procrastinate studying.

Work Hard.
Finals are coming. This is your chance to watch your GPA soar! Or plummet, if you wish. Isn’t it fun to have so much control over your fate?

However you choose to spend the rest of your semester, just remember to make the most of it. After all, you only get to go to Harvard once, right?

Spring has Sprung: A Flyby Ode

Ah, Harvard. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate...wait, it’s only 50-something degrees out.

Still. These breezy warm temperatures are certainly a welcomed shift from the random cold spell that hit Cambridge just a few weeks prior, and we at Flyby are not complaining.

To the colorful chairs, which are finally making their reappearance: it’s been too long. Now is my final opportunity to steal one of you before the year’s over.

To the masses of tourists that come with the nicer weather: yes, I’ll take a picture for you in front of Widener. But not multiple pictures. I’m already late to my section in Sever.

To the fat squirrels: thanks for reminding me that sometimes, fat things that eat all the time are actually kind of cute. Did you hear that, mom? My freshman fifteen is cute.

To the grass that will be green again soon, and the pretty flowers starting to bloom once more: thanks in advance for all of the great Snapchats I’ll feature you in. Can’t wait for #springhassprung #spring #harvard #igohere.

To the happy couple cutely picnicking in the middle of the Yard: please share your secrets to maintaining a relationship. How do you do it? Do you even go here? Do people really fall in love at Harvard? What a magical thing.

And to all of the prefrosh who are wearing cold-weather gear and big red Harvard knapsacks while us students wander around in lightweight sweaters and J. Crew shorts: don’t mind us, we’re just taking what we can get. My iPhone says it’s only going to get warmer from here, so unless there’s a freak reading period snowstorm, hopefully this beautiful weather is here to stay for good.

How To: Do Visitas Right

Visitas, Harvard’s annual pre-freshman visit weekend, comes only once a year. If you’re not a jaded upperclassman, this weekend represents an important time to showcase the fun side of Harvard, proving to young high school students that this place is more than its midterm season. But on the other end, visiting pre-freshman have big questions on their minds - will I fit in here? Is Harvard ~right~? If you’re in that boat, this post is for you.

Many freshmen that visit claim to be worried about whether or not they’ll be able to compete academically on this campus. Whether or not this is actually a guise for name-dropping other options like Stanford, Princeton, or Yale is unclear, but it’s important to know that Harvard students primarily like to compete on how little work they’ve done on the problem set due the next day or how screwed they are for their next exam, rather than for levels of success. So during Visitas, spend less time asking people about classes and more time asking people about their favorite other people on this campus. That’s what actually matters – you’ll probably have an A- average anyways.

Don’t blackout this weekend. We know, we know, you’re so excited to be experiencing college and final clubs are the best thing to happen to anyone ever. It’s not that your reputation of being that kid who couldn’t handle himself this weekend will last – we know that this can easily be accomplished through incessant Facebook posts instead. Rather, too many a young pre-frosh has wasted his four years of work in high school by getting too drunk at Visitas and ending the weekend with a rescinded letter of acceptance from Harvard. You’ve seen a movie about teenage drinking before, so take shots of water and let the placebo effect carry your night away. You also aren’t a student here so the Amnesty Policy, though it’s another good reason to commit, doesn’t count for you yet.

At the end of the day, Visitas is really all about meeting friends who will become your lifelong partners-in-crime and who will speak at your wedding. Indeed, for an entire week of freshman year, countless students consider meeting up with their BFFs from Visitas before abandoning the notion and making friends with other people instead. But believing that you’ve found your crew and then realizing you’ll never speak to them is one of the most important parts of the Visitas experience - try to make sure you don’t miss out on the fun.

At the end of the day, this weekend should be a fun, lighthearted one. Know that Eleganza and its dancing are not the norm of Harvard parties, but hopefully some of the best conversations you have this weekend are. Enjoy yourself, and we’ll see you again with your little red Harvard key chains next fall!

Listen Up!: On Love and Neopets

Hello, Harvard. It’s your two favorite advice gurus back at it again, Betty and Hyemi. Last week, we asked you to submit your burning life questions to us (which you can still do here), and now we’re here to answer them. We’ve done some deep and introspective soul-searching and came to the conclusion that being part-time advice columnists is our calling in life, so we hope you appreciate our wisdom.

Am I hooking up with too many people?
Hyemi: This seems like one of those questions where you want to hear the answer “no” for affirmation, so no, you are not hooking up with too many people! But in all seriousness, maybe you can ask yourself these questions for evaluative purposes: Am I spending too much time hooking up with people and not enough quality time with friends? How many “productive” nights in Lamont did I forgo to have #pillowtalk with my hook up buddies? Is the pillow talk with some of my hook up buddies even good? Alternatively, you could just go with the good old-fashioned “whatever” and not question your ways since the semester is coming to an end anyway.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Betty: If you have to question whether you’re hooking up with too many people, you’re probably hooking up with too many people. But no judgement, I respect the hustle.

emoji-listen-up
Send some cute emojis to ~casually~ ask your date to formal!
How do I ask a guy to any of the formals coming up?
Hyemi: I would personally go with a cute little text message followed by a string of seemingly-related emojis to make it look low stakes.

Betty: When in doubt, Bumble it out. Everyone loves being asked to formals, and if for some reason your Bumble boo says no, it just wasn’t meant to bee...

How should you act around a guy you’ve hooked up with once but haven’t spoken to since? :/
Betty: As the wise Henry David Thoreau (Harvard College Class of 1837) once said, “Be yourself—not your idea of what you think somebody else's idea of yourself should be.” In other words, the only person you should be around this guy is the very best person you are: ~yourself~ :]. And if you haven’t spoken since your hookup, is it because this guy hasn’t responded to you yet, or is it because you’re waiting for him to make the next move? Because if it’s the latter, stop waiting. Be proactive and get the ball rolling again. Text him, insta dm him, poke him, challenge him to a game of Facebook basketball. But all the while, act like nothing or nobody but your beautifully unique self.

Hyemi: Thanks for the emoji, really conveys the ~confusion~ and ~frustration~ of our generation’s hook up culture :/. Being that I am an intrinsically awkward person (ex. I get social anxiety when someone is holding the door into Sever for the person in front of me and I don’t know whether I should run to catch up or purposely walk slower so I open the door myself), I would have major hesitations reaching out to him first. If you’re like me and appreciate the low-risk approaches, maybe you can start with a like on his Instagram or Facebook post as a “hello, I remember you and am acknowledging your existence so I hope you appreciate this gesture.” From there, it could build up to prolonged eye contact followed by a smile if you happen to cross paths with him at the fateful Science Center Plaza between classes. Good luck, and please report back to me because if you couldn’t tell, I am personally invested in this now!

Neopets?
Betty: Honestly, I was always a Webkinz kind of girl. Come to think of it, I actually made myself a new Webkinz account one fine day in Lamont last semester while “studying for finals.” Pro-tip: you don’t have to purchase a Webkinz plush from your nearest pharmacy anymore to make an account!

Hyemi: Yes, always. The highlights of my Neopets career were playing Meerca Chase and decorating my Neohome with trendy furniture. A major low point was when the evil ghost would steal my Neopet money– seriously, not nice!

That’s our advice for this week, but please continue to tell us your life problems and ponderings and you bet we’ll be back with solutions.

XOXO,

Betty and Hyemi

Do's and Don’ts of Formal Season

It’s mid-April, and do you know what that means? Yes, you will soon have to walk into your final exams, woefully unprepared for the horror that awaits you. And yes, you will wonder whether it’s too late to refine your competitive eating skills so you can make that your profession because Applied Math probably isn’t going to work out after all (sorry Mom and Dad.) But before that catastrophe, you get to experience formal season. Whether this is your first formal season or you just never really got the hang of it, here are some do’s and dont’s you should live by.

WHAT (NOT) TO WEAR

DO: Dress nicely. After all, this is a formal event, not an “I woke up at 10:15 for my 10:00 class, and I’m late even with Harvard Time” situation. Wear something that expresses you.

DON’T: Feel like you have to spend a lot of money on a brand new outfit. Everyone is there to have fun and no one is judging you based on what you’re wearing (Read: No one will remember what you wore).

DO: Wear something you’re comfortable jumping around in. You’re not going to have any fun if you can’t get your groove on.

DON’T: Wear anything you’ll start to regret once you’re surrounded by approximately 268 of your classmates in an enclosed area.

ASKING SOMEONE TO GO WITH YOU #HarvardNetworking

DO: Ask someone if you want to. Just text them or ask them next time you hang out. If they say no, you can still carry on in a normal friendship with that person (I know, shocker).

DON’T: Feel like by asking this person to formal, you are extending your hand in marriage. It’s completely acceptable to just take someone as a friend.

DO: Know that it’s okay to go by yourself or in a large group too. If you feel you’re an independent person who don’t need no date, you do you.

DON’T: Stage an elaborate ‘Promposal’ style situation to ask your date out if you don’t know he/she will say yes for sure. Save yourself potential embarrassment and be chill when you ask someone who’s response you are unsure of.

LOGISTICS (AKA HOW TO MAKE SURE YOUR BAD DECISIONS DON’T DOOM YOU)

DO: Buy your tickets early (Especially Freshmen!) Tickets can run out quickly, and you don’t want to miss out on formal just because you procrastinated too hard.

DON’T: Pregame so hard you can’t even remember getting to the formal. It’s no fun if you’re the kid that passes out before you even start dancing.

DO: Look for policies concerning guests and/or deals because they might be different at every formal. Exhibit A: Kirkland gave out a free vintage Housing Day t-shirt with every ticket purchase last year.

DON’T: Pull a freshman class of 2017. If you do, Harvard might just decide it’s not worth it to have formals, and what would we do then?

Take the CEB’s Social Psych Survey: It’s Worth It

Too many surveys.

We here at Flyby are pretty sure that’s the thought that’s been going through your brain the last week as all of your classmates, spurned forth by the prospect of an end-of-the-semester assignment, have tried all manner of creatively annoying ways to get you to take their social psych surveys. So when the College Events Board posted “Take my psych survey” on the Yardfest events page, we lost it: “What freshman got a hold of the FB event and thought it would be a good idea to pub out their homework?”

But, you know, being the endlessly curious people that we are (aka being the typical bored college students dodging psets), we clicked on the link. What was the worst that could happen?

This is the only time we’ll suggest it: Click the link. It finally happened. Steve Aoki is confirmed for Yardfest 2016. If you’re a fan of electronic music, jumping up and down furiously and having food smashed in your face, then be prepared to have every orifice on your body filled with cake at this year’s Yardfest. If not, well we don’t know what to tell you. We hear Apple Music is great this time of year.

And here we were freaking out, thinking that our Yardfest artist had bailed on us and that we would have to turn up to the nearest Spotify playlist while some of our peer institutions vibed to Chance the Rapper and Fetty Wap. Not to mention that the good ‘ole CEB has graciously allowed Harvard students to bring guests for the first time in Yardfest history. Tickets are $20, and only a limited number of them are available. If you want your bae from Boston to get turnt with you this Yardfest, you better hurry, or else you’ll be left with no choice but to skip on over to the nearest karaoke bar for a date and hope that they don’t dump you.

Here’s to what’s shaping up to be an awesome Yardfest.

How To Be an Eleganza Model

Eleganza Models 2016
The chosen ones

Today marks T-5 days until Eleganza, Harvard’s annual charity fashion show/display of human magnificence in dancing form. It's hard to believe that the day is so quickly approaching. It was just a few months ago that many a runway hopeful showed up to the show’s open auditions (contrary to what one might expect, it turns out that Harvard’s campus is filled with aspiring models). But everyone knows that Eleganza is extremely selective, taking only the absolute crème de la crème. In case you find yourself among those who had their modeling (read: dancing) dreams crushed by Eleganza auditions, don’t be so quick to despair--here’s Flyby’s guide on how to be an Eleganza model, so you can kill the auditions next year.

High cheekbones are an absolute must for any Eleganza model. Aim for at least a 120° angle by always looking slightly above every person's head. You want to be able to cut diamonds with your jawline.

Practice a seductive, smoldering gaze. How do you suck in your cheeks without looking constipated? Practice on your roommates. On your classmates. On your TFs! If you’re still having trouble, Tyra Banks has some good instructional videos on how to Smize made just for people like you.

Spend the summer learning how to move your body. If you think this is all about modeling, think again. Eleganza models are multitalented creatures, so if you’re just a pretty face, this isn't the place for you. Don’t be afraid to break out those dance moves--the more seductive, the better. A good benchmark for what Eleganza dancing is like is to consider how your parents would feel if they saw your performance - if the answer is "slightly uncomfortable," you’re golden.

Finally, aim for a certain "je ne sais quoi." This is probably the hardest of the criteria to master (because developing an extremely sharp cheekbone-and-jawline combo is quite easy). Unfortunately, there’s really no straightforward advice we can give here. Basically, Eleganza models are particularly cool and edgy. If you’re not, well, maybe a quick trip to Urban Outfitters will do the trick?

And even if you find yourself rejected once again by the modeling industry, don’t be too hard on yourself. I mean, you always have Harvard to fall back on.

Break-Up Tips for Blockmates You Don't Want to Room With

Well, it’s that time of year again folks. Hard as it is to believe, the 2015/16 school year is coming to a close, and while you procrastinate on those final papers, at least you’re able to get a head start on something for next semester: rooming drama.

You don’t think it will happen to you, but it will. Whether you’re a freshman realizing that there’s that one blockmate that you absolutely could never live with, or an upperclassman who figured out too late that your blockmate has a habit of leaving hair behind in the shower drains, everyone at some point will have doubts about rooming with a friend. It’s not that you don’t like them, you just don’t want to share a bedroom with them.

So now’s the time to plan your escape route. Never fear, because Flyby’s got some strategies to help you break it to your blockmate that you don’t want to room with them.

Send them a card in the mail
Who doesn’t like getting real, authentic snail mail in 2016? Millennials live for this nostalgic #throwback to simpler times. So buy a cute card and write your blockmate a note explaining that you cannot stand the idea of tolerating their snoring for another second, let alone another school year. They’ll enjoy novelty of the mode of communication so much that they’ll forget to be sad!

Use the architecture
Pore over your house floor plans and construct a reason why, architecturally speaking, your chances in the rooming lottery are better if you enter as a group of 3, not a group of 4. You can’t argue with such solidly grounded logic.

Use the math
If your house uses an averaging system – whereby the group’s number is the average of all the members’ individual lottery numbers – you can invoke the Law of Large Numbers to make your case (thanks Stat 110). The idea is that the bigger your group, the more the average of all those random numbers will tend towards the overall mean of all the lottery numbers – so the less likely your group is to end up choosing rooms first or last. Explain to your blockmate that you like to live on the edge, you want to take the risk of ending up last for the chance of getting the best suite in the house, and so you want as small a group as possible. They are the weakest link, goodbye.

Be sneaky
Just file your rooming preferences without consulting the person you want to leave out. Once they’re with the housing administrator, there’s nothing you can do about it. Nothing.

Be the mature, partially-Harvard-educated adult that you are and talk to them
As if anyone actually does this though.

Accept your fate because you are a coward
Acquiesce to their request and let them join your rooming group. Begin filling our your transfer forms for next semester.

There you have it. Some foolproof ways to wimp your way out having tough, real world conversations by finding semi-legit excuses. May the odds be ever in your favor.

What to Expect from Visitas

In less than a week, hundreds of hundreds of admitted pre-frosh from the Class of 2020 will descend on Harvard’s campus for the annual Visitas program. For current freshmen and those upperclassmen who may have forgotten the effects of the three-day program on student life, we here at Flyby have you covered on what to expect when you’re expecting (prefrosh, that is).

This coming weekend there will be long (or longer) lines and fewer seats in the dining halls, especially Annenberg. Prefrosh and their families will also pretty much take over the restaurants in Harvard Square, so if you’re planning on dining at Felipe’s, Pinocchio’s, Tasty Burger, or even Chipotle, plan on having to wait for an extended amount of time for tables and meals.

There will likely be a loud atmosphere in the libraries, especially Lamont. So if you’re planning on knocking out that statistics pset at the library, make sure you’re prepared to work amidst incessant chatter. It’s gonna be #lit.

The only thing better than getting admitted to Harvard is taking pictures of it and posting evidence of your time here all over social media. From prefrosh who will ask you to take a picture of them and their families on Widener’s steps to those overly eager to photograph your suite (with or without your permission), expect flashing cameras through the weekend. And expect to end up in the backgrounds of dozens of pictures, unknowingly, as you fight your way through the prefrosh crowds in the Yard. You've finally made it on this campus - enjoy the moment and the opportunity to get to know these un-jaded new students.

Visitas is all about meeting new people, of course, and so there will be many new Facebook requests from prefrosh whose excitement can add to your own now that your blocking group has fallen apart with next year’s rooming drama. If you look like a freshman, you could also fall victim to aggressive efforts from clubs and groups who’d like you to join them next fall. This could, however, be a beautiful opportunity for you to ~start all over~

We were all prefrosh once, so cut the Class of 2020 some slack. They’re depending on on us for a great Visitas experience, especially because this visit will largely determine their decision to commit to Harvard. At the end of the day, Visitas is for one thing: making sure freshman don't make the great mistake of committing to that little school in New Haven.
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