The Rabbit Hole
Faust And The Furious
Yet again, in a revelation that comes as a shock to exactly no one, we were recently informed that Harvard has been spying on us. Last week, Vice Provost for Advances in Learning Peter K. Bol admitted to secretly installing cameras in select classrooms without the prior consent of either the students or the faculty members, in order to conduct a “research effort” to study student attendance. Which naturally makes me wonder just what kinds of “research efforts” I can get approved if I ask nicely enough.
I know this might be a revolutionary concept to the administration, but if in the future they want to monitor class attendance, they can … take attendance. My middle school used to do it. Essentially, in the beginning of lecture, the teacher reads off a list of every name in the class. Each student will say “here.” Others might answer “present” if they’re smart-asses, and the teacher will mark him off as having attended that particular lecture.
Campaign 2014: Florida Edition?
Hello dear readers (mother)! Ordinarily, I’d take this time to talk to you about the Undergraduate Council, or CS50, or whatever happened to show up on my Facebook feed the night before my columns run. I might even take some time to mention Larry Summers or the Winklevi. Today, though, I’d prefer to talk about politics. Of course, it’s more like a monologue or soliloquy than a conversation, but I still like to think of myself as a man of the people.
After all, I’ve spent the better part of this weekend agonizing and debating, listening to and watching two other men of the people. You see, I have a Florida absentee ballot sitting on my desk, and have absolutely no idea whom to vote for as our next governor.
CS50 and the Humanities
CS50 has finally, tragically reached Mather House. Office hours on Thursday nights take place in our dining hall, which is so unfortunate for everyone involved because we at Mather aren’t particularly fond of the swarm of desperate students who descend upon us and they usually take a half hour to figure out where Mather even is. Those who didn’t venture over to our dining hall last week were kept fully apprised of the situation via an email thread creatively titled: “Oh my god, CS50.” Here are a few selected emails: “Everyone….beware!!! There’s no water too ;-(.” “There’s really not any water?!?” “I heard they refilled it or something….Someone should check and share.”
There are really only three explanations justifying a thread like that. One: Everyone in Mather sending emails was high on something or other (possible but not likely). Two: The entire Cambridge reservoir ran out of water, and the city went dry (again, possible but not likely). Three: The drink fountains were turned off.
Winter is Coming
I write bearing both good news and bad. The good news is that Aretha Franklin just released a cover of “Rolling in the Deep.” The bad news is that summer has officially ended.
I’m sure you’re looking around, thinking, “No kidding. It’s been cold for the better part of a week, and I still don’t have a job!” Indeed, the time for long johns and even longer cover letters has arrived. And so forgive me for writing this paragraph while lying outside on Sunday, getting a last minute sunburn before the sun follows all of Quebec to Fort Lauderdale for the winter. You see, I am writing this from the past! Just think: Relative to me, you are in the future. Frankly, I find this whole setup very meta. Call a DeLorean, or a psychiatrist.