With campus recruiting gearing up, Harvard's juniors and seniors (and a few forward-thinking sophomores) are wondering which consulting firm will be the best fit. We might be able to help you narrow it down. We're obviously big fans of consulting!

What’s your concentration?

A) Econ/Statistics with a Gov secondary

B) Applied Math

C) Gov/Social Studies

D) Folklore and Mythology


What attracted you to the consulting career path?

A) Power and prestige of the high-end lifestyle

B) "I just really enjoy the problem solving."

C) The crushing burden of parental expectations

D) "I died inside a long time ago."

What do you like to do in your free time?

A) Have raucous dining hall debates with my blockmates about which punch events to attend.

B) Engage in titillating intellectual discourse at the fifth networking lunch I've attended this semester

C) Lie to my legacy dad about making the first round of cuts of the Advocate comp

D) Binge-drink instead of attend my Ec 1011a section because 20% on a final is a B+ anyways, am I right?

What dream did you abandon after comparing industry starting salaries?

A) Running for office

B) Curing cancer

C) Making your family proud

D) Maintaining a decent level of self-respect

What is your special skill?

A) Convincing people to take the high road so there’s more room for me on the low road

B) Endlessly spinning my objectively brilliant common app essay that got me a likely letter

C) Name-dropping Exeter

D) Wasting my potential by indulging in self-destructive tendencies like pre-gaming so hard I never make it to Harvard-Yale.

Results:

Mostly As - McKinsey & Company

Congratulations, you’re a bona fide winner who’s probably at the top of the socioeconomic food chain already! Your idea of “meritocracy” likely consists of having good friends in better places. Your favorite movies are “Wolf of Wall Street” and “American Psycho.” You probably defended the men’s soccer team and the Delphic despite being a “feminist” who’s totally for “letting hot chicks” into the Fly. You realize your charm is in your privilege and you’re not afraid to use it to strive for greatness! Good for you!

Mostly Bs - The Boston Consulting Group

You’re a really smart sellout destined to apply your knowledge and skills to making the world a better place for people like you . You were the only freshman at the HBS panel and the only sophomore in your Ec 1126 section. You research cases for fun and got into HFAC and HCCG. You closed your nonprofit (which provided free copies of the New Yorker to underprivileged waiting rooms) the second you got into Harvard. You know you could be the next Einstein or Hawkins but your money fetish still got the best of you. So here you are, raising your hand section kid-style at a recruiting event.

Mostly Cs - Bain & Company

You hate yourself because your dad never hugged you but you still force a smile and try to maintain the facade of success. Although you're doing pretty well, you know you’ll never be good enough for your Mayflower family and overachiever friends, so you settle for being 3rd best.

Mostly Ds - Deloitte Consulting

You’re no one's first choice but you’re still better than non-Ivy leaguers. Setting your bar so low satisfies you because you’re nothing but a hollow shell of your former self. You aim for second-tier firms because your OCS advisor said you’re not on target to become a “competitive applicant.” Eventually you’ll have a panic when you’re actually expected to do all of the things you exaggerated about in your resume.