Tired of waiting around to see if windbreakers will come back in style? FM’s team of sartorial savants took a look into their crystal ball to bring you the future of culture. This is what they saw:

FM: We’ve read that you’re quite the LGBT historian. Are there any highlights of that history in the Boston area?

A fifth House has joined the Adams-Currier Conflict: in a signed statement, Cabot House announced its alliance with Currier. In the statement, Cabot asserted that "We, the people of Cabot, will not stand for such injustices and must act to impede this infringement upon our Faust given and unalienable Rights, among these being Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

At 12:01 a.m. on Thursday, following Adams House's failure to rescind its Declaration against Currier House, Mather House's mysterious leader, know only by the alias "General Mistie," released a formal Declaration of War against Adams House.

Relations continued to deteriorate between the Quad and the River on Wednesday evening as the Pforzheimer Department of Pfublic Safety issued a travel advisory to its residents regarding unnecessary travel to Houses currently in conflict with Currier.

Winthrop House surprised campus today by declaring war on Lowell House. Their first grievance? The lack of swipe access to Lowell's back gate. Despite other House conflicts, this battle is so far limited to the two river Houses, and Winthrop has not stated its position in the on-going Adams-Currier conflict.

Henry A. Kissinger '50 sent shockwaves across campus on Wednesday by declaring his support for Adams House, where he lived as an undergraduate in Claverly Hall.

In a conflict which has expanded in the course of a single day to involve an unprecedented three Houses, a fourth House has now joined the alliance against Adams House. Led by a mysterious individual known only by the alias "General Mistie," Mather House Committee issued a "Decree to Save the Tree" to declare war against Adams if they continue hostilities against Currier House.

A state of war exists between the Quad and the River. Last night, in response to a sabotage of the Adams House mascot poll by students in Currier House, Adams House suspended its poll and declared war on Currier.