A door-to-door Crimson Halloween survey conducted last night revealed that 83.33 per cent of a sample of Harvard professors give out candy, and that 0.00 per cent of the sample stuff the candy with razor blades.
With a few exceptions, the candy is unimpressive.
Sissela Bok, handing out slightly stale Tootsie Roll Pops, smiled apologetically and explained that though her husband "tries never to miss a Halloween," he had been tied up at a dinner meeting.
John Kenneth Galbraith, Warburg Professor of Economics, declined to comment on the non-market distribution of candy, sending word that he was busy with guests. "We have some Russians here," Emily Wilson, Galbraith's housekeeper, explained. "They've never seen trick-or-treaters."
While giving out yellow and red lolly pops, Wilson told about "three lovely Harvard students" who had rung the bell and, without a word, "just piled us with candy."
The only Faculty member observed distributing his or her own candy was Oscar Handlin, Pforzheimer University Professor. When asked if he had received many Halloween callers, Handlin threw up his arms in disgust and closed the door.
David Bell-explaining that his father, Daniel Bell, professor of Sociology, was away in Japan--handed out peanuts while restraining a ferocious-looking terrier.
Asked why he himself was not trick-or-treating, the 12-year-old Bell smiled disdainfully. "I gave it up a year ago," he explained. "Unlike some people."