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It's cuffing season — here are 36 Arts questions guaranteed to find you love.
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want to serve you a lukewarm PBR?
2. Would you like to be famous? In a Shia LaBeouf or Meghan Markle kinda way?
3. Before Arts meetings, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What constitutes a perfect Fleetwood Mac song for you?
5. When did you last sing “Dancing Queen” to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the vocal gusto of Janelle Monáe or the chutzpah of Steve Carell for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. If there can be 100 people in a room and 99 won’t believe in you, do you have a secret hunch about who the one is?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. (One must be a Monty Python reference.)
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful? Why is it the “A Star is Born” trailer?
10. If you could change anything about Holden Caulfield, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes to compare and contrast Dave Franco and James Franco in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow as any character in a Wes Anderson film, which would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, why do you see Jaden Smith’s 2015 prom dress?
14. Is there someone you’ve wanted to send fan mail to (via Crimson email, of course) for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? In your answer, define postcolonialism, fetishization, and performativity.
16. What do you value most in kitschy music videos?
17. What is your most treasured memory? (Must be Shrek-related.)
18. What is your most terrible memory? (Must be Shrek-related.)
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you listen to more NSYNC? Why or why not?
20. What does “flawed but compelling” mean to you?
21. What roles do love, patience, and pain play in your life? (Bonus points if the answer is “yuh.”)
22. Alternate sharing something you consider an artistic guilty pleasure. Share a total of five items.
23. Do you feel your childhood was happier than Van Gogh’s?
24. How do you feel about the Rainbow Sponge?
25. Make three objective “Henry Golding is” statements. For instance, “Henry Golding is totally hot.”
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish the Kanō School had taught…”
27. If you are going to become close friends with your partner, please serenade them with “Bitch I’m Madonna.”
28. Tell your partner how they remind you of Leonardo da Vinci’s “Mona Lisa.” Be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner a moment when you accidentally mistook Miley Cyrus for Hannah Montana.
30. When did you last cry in front of a sexy poster of Immanuel Kant?
31. Tell your partner whether they’re high culture or low culture.
32. Why is John Travolta’s mispronunciation of Idina Menzel’s name too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening, would you regret the number of times you listened to the hit single “Closer”?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be, and why is it all 1,079 pages of “Infinite Jest”?
35. Of all the people in “Hamlet,” whose death do you find most disturbing?
36. Share about your addiction to sabotaging Dora the Explorer when she asks you where her grandma’s house is and ask your partner’s advice on how they might handle it.
— Kaylee S. Kim is the outgoing Editor-at-Large and incoming Arts Chair. She may or may not have asked or been asked some or all of the questions above — and yes, she is in love (with Arts). Please direct any and all complaints, enquiries, and insults to Caroline A. Tsai at email@example.com with the subject line, “CRIMSON EMERGENCY.”
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