We’re back! We at Flyby are sure that you, like us, enjoyed a relaxing break catching up with family and friends. We're glad to be back, but we could do without those dulling "How was your break?" and "How was shopping week?" conversations. To help you all get back in the swing of talking to other students, here's a list of guaranteed, successful conversation starters:
"Did you hear that [insert name of good mutual friend] is taking a semester off? I haven’t seen him or her once yet.”
Make sure the person isn’t actually taking a semester off. Just for fun.
"Is it true that Dean Pfister is going to fight for the permanent deanship?"
While we share heaps of Flyby love for Dean Rakesh Khurana, we're going to miss all the botanical and whimsical emails. Who knows? Maybe if you start the rumor it will reach him and the two can duke it out for our affection.
"You look good, break treated you really well."
The less well you know the person, the better.
"We need to talk."
Pick your tone carefully and watch your conversational partner get super uncomfortable. Does it sound like "need" is in italics (e.g. We neeeeeeeed to talk more this semester)? If so, laugh internally while they try to figure out when you got so damn emotional. Is it deadpan and ominous? Freak them out a little!
"Want to block with me?"
Say this to a stranger or someone you don’t like.
"You look familiar? Did you go to (your high school)? Class of (a year or two before you)?”
To Professor Harvey C. Mansfield '53, age 72.
"Sie sind ziemlich heiß. Treffen Sie mich in der Bibliothek Stacks später?"
If you say this to a German person, don’t tell them my name. And don’t be mad if they slap you.