Surefire Ways to Get Cuffed
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Don't be like John Harvard. You need to find someone to keep you warm through the impending winter. By Helen Y. Wu
Cuffing season may seem far off, but it's never too early to try to find a bae. Here's what you should do:
Camp outside of your potential baeâs room.
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Disclaimer: there is a 50/50 chance you will get cuffed, but not in the way you would like to be.
Check out your horoscope (and his) every single day, and just let the stars guide you. You (vir)go! With Mercury in the Twelfth House, the stars will make sure you scor(pio)!
If your bae is in your Ec10 class, tell them that they are (Man)kiw-t!
Tell them that they would be the best bunkmate ever. Repeatedly.
If youâre on the border of making things official, bring them to Border CafĂŠ. What better way to taco âbout your feelings than over chips and salsa?
Get a job delivering HSA fans. Tell them that youâre their biggest fan and that theyâll be super cool. Keep this one on the down-low. If too many people catch wind of this, using this line wonât be a breeze.
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Talk about things you have in common. Like common rooms. If he doesnât have one, offer to show him yours.
Take Russian together, but take it slow! You donât want to Russian-to something youâre not ready for.
If the above steps all fail, go to Widener steps and stair into their eyes.