Whether you’re an avid fan or a vocal protester of the show, you’ve probably seen The Bachelor at least once. Two hours a week of symmetric-faced individuals all aggressively pining after a complete stranger—what’s not to like? The only thing that could make the series better is getting as sloshed as all its contestants constantly are. Although this season's almost over, this drinking game will survive longer than the “relationship” between Nick and whichever girl he winds up picking. While you’re getting pissed off at one of the annoying contestants (we’re looking at you, Corinne), why not get piss drunk as well?
Take a Drink Every Time:
One of the following adjectives is used to describe a contestant or Bachelor/ette—sincere, amazing, intelligent, sexy, attractive, incredible, or any non-specific adjective that could be applied to anyone. Take a longer swig if the Bachelor/ette uses the exact same adjectives to describe more than one contestant.
A contestant gives a back-handed compliment to another contestant or about another contestant in one of the confessional scenes. The faker it seems, the longer you should drink.
Someone is convinced they’re the one not getting the rose that week. They usually agonize over the prospect in tears (see below) in a confessional style interview right before they *gasp* get a rose.
Take a Shot:
Every time someone starts crying. One shot per manicured eye-dropped tear roll. If it’s unconvincing and unnecessary, take two.
If the Bachelor/ette kisses two or more different contestants with no commercial breaks in between. Multiple makeout seshes in an uninterrupted airing means pound that vodka.
Finish Your Drink:
If a contestant says anything about being in love with the Bachelor/ette, which includes a wide range from “I think I’m really falling for him…” to straight up “I’m in love with you.”
If your least favorite contestant goes home at the end of the episode, finish your drink.
Follow these “rules” and you’ll hopefully be absolutely smashed by the end of the excruciatingly drawn-out episode. If you’re marathoning it, make sure to rent out a bed in UHS and phone in the amnesty policy ahead of time. Happy drinking!