The Marshall Plan

Laura Jane Barnard

What’s your favorite event that occurred in 1979-1980 business year?

Wasn’t the first MTV video released that year?

What’s a better Doritos flavor: Nacho Cheese or Cool Ranch?

Cool Ranch, specifically for the word cool.

Please tell a one-sentence joke. As dirty as possible.

What do you call a man without arms and legs in the ocean? Bob.

Vanessa Ivana Bazzocchi

What’s your favorite cereal commercial character?

I’m from Canada, so it’s a tough one...Tony the Tiger.

What’s the best rhyming slogan you can come up with that involves ‘02?

‘02, more beer, more beer, more beer. [Editor’s note: So far as we can tell, this slogan does not actually rhyme.]

Please tell a one-sentence joke. As dirty as possible.

The white horse... [Editor’s note: So far as we can tell, this is not actually a joke.]

Chad Gregory Callaghan

What’s your favorite special dining hall concoction?

I like frozen yogurt with honey, brown sugar and that wheat germ stuff that they have sometimes. It looks kind of like oatmeal.

Please tell a one-sentence joke. As dirty as possible.

CGC: Why did the chicken cross the road?

FM: Why?

CGC: I don’t really want the answer to be printed.

Avik Chatterjee

What’s your favorite event that occurred in 1979-1980 business year?

The Sugar Hill Gang’s Rappers Delight, one of the first and greatest-ever rap songs, is

released. It rocked my world and my cradle.

Where do you hope to live and work?

Calcutta, India. I have family there and there is a great need for medical professionals.

Please tell a one-sentence joke. As dirty as possible.

[Pick-up line:] I’ve lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

LaurE “Voop” de Vulpillieres

What’s the best rhyming slogan you can come up with that involves ‘02?

Woo-hoo! Class of ‘02!

What’s your favorite Slurpee flavor?

I’m not American, so I’ve never had a Slurpee. They don’t have Slurpees in France.

What’s a better Doritos flavor: Nacho Cheese or Cool Ranch?

Again, the answer goes back to France. Nacho Cheese is the only flavor in France so I got accustomed to it. Also, since we don’t have it, we sort of regarded Cool Ranch as inferior.

Among the other candidates, who do you think is the hottest?

I’ve always thought Vanessa was attractive. But don’t tell her I said that.

Daniel Benjamin Jacob Droller

What is your favorite cereal commercial character?

The guy who was in jail for Cookie Crisps. That whole series of commercials was really funny.

Favorite Square establishment of yours that was replaced by a cell-phone store, evicted or closed by the Massachusetts Alcohol Licensing Commission during your time here?

Stuff-it, this roll-up sandwich place.

Among the other candidates, who do you think is the hottest?

Gerard, because of his cheerleading uniform.

Gerard Peter Hammond

What’s the best rhyming slogan you can come up with that involves ‘02?

‘02 remain true because we’re ‘02 legit ‘02 quit.

What’s your favorite ‘80s cartoon?

Denver the Last Dinosaur—he’s our friend and a whole lot more.

What’s your favorite Slurpee flavor?

I like to mix them all together: I’m the kind of guy that likes to mix it up.

Adam Varner Kline

What’s your favorite cereal commercial character?

The Lucky Charms guy is kinda trite. Shout out to Tony the Tiger. The Kellogg’s rooster doesn’t really do it for me. Oh, the rabbit from the things my nana used to buy [which were] like Triscuits, only not triscuits.

Who is the wind beneath your wings?

Can I say Bette Midler? It’s a toss up between Bette Midler and my campaign manager Zubin Teja.

Among the other candidates, who do you think is the hottest?

That’s a lot of guys. Are they all guys? This is preposterous. Be it noted that I couldn’t remember any of the girls, so I’ve gotta go with Gerard Hammond.

Nicholas Nikee Lau

This question used to be Tommy’s vs. Pinnochio’s, but since the new ownership at Tommy’s started sucking we’ve had to change it to this: Pinnochio’s or Pinnochio’s?

I’m a Quadling so I don’t go out late at night for food to the Square. Ta Sheng or the Kong.

Favorite Slurpee flavor?

Oooh. Cherry with some Coke on top of it.

Among the other candidates, who do you think is the hottest?

Gerard, hands down.

Favorite special dining hall food concoction?

Honey and Dijon mustard. Nick’s famous honey mustard.

Alana Elizabeth Murphy

Favorite Square establishment of yours that was replaced by a cell-phone store, evicted or closed by the Massachusetts Alcohol Licensing Commission during your time here?

There are a lot that closed. I liked the Tasty.

Favorite special dining hall food concoction?

I make a pretty mean ice cream shake.

Please tell a one-sentence joke. As dirty as possible.

The one with the penguin, his broken-down car, and the ice cream.

Oyere Kalu Onuma

What’s your favorite event that occurred in 1979-1980 business year?

The price of oil went up.

Favorite Square establishment of yours that was replaced by a cell-phone store, evicted or closed by the Massachusetts Alcohol Licensing Commission during your time here?

It has to be Store 24. It was sketchy as hell, but it was still kind of nice. You can’t get sketchy week-old donuts from Voice Stream.

Pinnochio’s or Pinnochio’s?

Pinnochio’s tomato and basil pizza—for life.

Among the other candidates, who do you think is the hottest?

Me, definitely.

Maritess Ferrer Panlilio

Where do you hope to live and work?

I want to open a tuition-free arts center for kids in LA. That’s my dream and I miss California. I have a homing device to California. When I am not there I get really really sad. I can’t live anywhere else.

Pinnochio’s or Pinnochio’s?

I would have said Noch’s either way, cause Tommy’s sucks.

What’s a better Doritos flavor: Nacho Cheese or Cool Ranch?

Pre-12, Cool Ranch. However, in my college years my affinity for Nacho Cheese has grown. Perhaps because it is now Nacho Cheesier.

Stephen Chartey Quarcoo

What’s the best rhyming slogan you can come up with that involves ‘02?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, ‘02 the revolution will not be televised.

What’s a better Doritos flavor: Nacho Cheese or Cool Ranch?

Nacho cheese, because when I was a kid I ate a whole bag of Cool Ranch on a long car ride and puked.

What’s your favorite special dining-hall concoction?

The “Manly Salad.” It’s a salad I make with everything that isn’t green or lettuce.

Krishnan Unnikrishnan

What’s your favorite cereal commercial character?

I always got so annoyed with the kids making fun of the Trix rabbit. If he came over to my house, I would give him some cereal.

What’s your favorite dining-hall concoction?

This is my own concoction that looks kind of funny but someone just recently asked me for the recipe. Take yogurt, add garbanzo and kidney beans, Italian dressing, curry powder, salt free 17, and pick a couple other spices for variety—you get a high protein, good-tasting snack.

Jimmy Danger Zha

What’s your favorite cereal commercial character?

[Audibly excited] Captain Crunch, that Leprechaun, Count Cocoa Puffs.

Favorite Slurpee flavor?

They’ve got Mountain Dew now, right?

Among the other candidates, who do you think is the hottest?

Krishnan Unnikrishnan has a pretty sexy name.

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