Dinner For Fifteen

The list in this issue of FM has become known as the “15 Most Interesting Seniors,” but—for the last three years, at least—we’ve never made that claim. These are merely 15 seniors chosen by an undemocratic and arbitrary process whose only goal is to find people with a diversity of interests who will make good dinner guests. Standing together in the hallway of The Crimson, waiting to have their profile pictures taken before heading off to Rock Bottom, we were relieved to see that our choices had fulfilled the first duty of dinner guests—following the dress code. They seemed the personification, nay, the very essence, of “creative black tie.” Of all the distinctive dressers present that evening, Rich Halvorson perhaps placed the greatest emphasis on the “creative” aspect. Halvorson belied his conservative leanings as a Christian and Republican activist by opting for the brooding hulk look, his tuxedo shirt ripped free of its sleeves.

Not only were the seniors stylish, they were also socially well-adjusted, a trait prominently in evidence as the group arrived at the restaurant. The seniors quickly integrated themselves all around the long dinner table and began conversing while FM staff members swarmed to the table’s farthest corner, their clannish impulses but momentarily eclipsing their duty to cover the event itself.

Michelle Kuo, director of the student-run Harvard Square Homeless Shelter, seemed barely able to contain her exuberance for socializing, even while engaging in the kind of quirky behavior which secretly delights magazine writers everywhere. She simultaneously devised a three-story house of cards out of Sweet ’n Low packages and probed everyone sitting within talking radius whether they considered themselves, way deep down inside, to be “giving” people. In a pique of social energy, Kuo, at one point in the evening, spontaneously thrust herself backwards and would have toppled to the floor while still in her chair were it not for the quick reaction time of an FM chaperone. “I’m so clumsy,” exclaimed a now-diagonal Kuo, her chair returning slowly to the stationary position.

More from the quirkiness department: Rick Du Puy, described by some as an old-fashioned polymath for his concurrent interests in math, music theory and philosophy, betrayed the extent of his nostalgia for days past by ordering a tall glass of milk. Krish Subrahmanian, the Class of 2003’s first class marshal, also displayed self-assured innocence in his drink selection when he requested a Shirley Temple to the jaw-dropped surprise of the waitress. As she continued down the length of the table, though, she was soon fighting back an onslaught of drink pleas.

With the first round of drinks behind them, the seniors formed teams of three to play an FM personal-trivia game. Everyone in attendance left with some very valuable and often nautical-themed life lessons, not the least of which were that the Welsh word for Wales is “cymru” and male blue whales have an average penis length of 2m. Rampant cheating on the part of all parties involved prevented a clear determination of the game’s winners.

The talent portion of the evening came next. Each senior was asked to spend a few minutes addressing the group. There were several personal interest stories. Lisa Guttentag ’03-’04 spoke about the path from lying in a deep coma, after a car accident almost ended her life in the summer of 2000, to returning to dance at Harvard. Justin Erlich talked about contracting dengue fever in the Caribbean. “They say the way to avoid dengue fever is to avoid mosquitoes,” he said. “That’s tough in Haiti.” Matt Espy gave a harrowing account of his life as a blue jean-hating iconoclast. “No one’s feeling me on the blue jean issue,” he lamented.

Julia Jarcho ’03-’04, writer of oddly humorous experimental plays, played to type by reading aloud from Martha Stewart’s personal monthly calendar, as printed in Martha Stewart Living. Martha won’t be available for holiday parties on Sunday, Dec. 22, as she intends to cross-country ski, “if there is snow.” Ryuji Yamaguchi, dancer extraordinaire, treated the crowd to an exposition of physical strength and agility. Yamaguchi balanced a chair on his face and then juggled apples, eating them as an encore.

Rich Halvorson recounted his conversion from Buddhism to devout Christianity in his first year at Harvard. In a pitch for prayer, Rich talked about living close to God. In fact, selfless personal advocacy was the theme of the evening. Krish Subrahmanian talked about caring for sick children. Shelby Braxton-Brooks stumped for the arts, leading the entire group in a samba session. Michelle Kuo recruited for the homeless shelter.

It must be said that these may not have been the most interesting seniors, but they may have been the most persuasive. By the end of the night, it was difficult to resist a sudden calling to teach Christian tap dances to homeless crack babies.