Suit jackets! Suit pants! Pantsuits! Seemingly crawling out of the cracks in Dunster’s walls, Harvard’s men and women are showing up en masse for recruiting season, and they’re dressed for the occasion. But how many of those pre-professional guys and gals are actually just jumping on the fashion bandwagon? Here’s a list of the most common reasons Harvard students are wearing business attire these days.
1. Themed Party: Sec’s and Exec’s.
2. Trying to throw off unsuspecting Harvard students while waiting on the corner of Mt. Auburn and Holyoke St. at around 3:27 a.m. to mug, rob, maim, or otherwise assault them.
3. Making their Unmarked Van Shuttle Service seem more professional, so more people will take advantage of this convenient new transportation option to the quad.
4. They ran out of DHA sweatshirt and sweatpants combos and all of the washing machines were taken.
5. It just suits their fancy.
6. ... I’m pretty sure they’re following me. Holyshitholyshitholyshit.
7. Dressed to impress, on the off-chance they run into Mankiw and get hired as his protégée.
8. They watch too much “How I Met Your Mother.”
9. Just another Friday night. They are on their way to Bank of America now to scout for their future in I-banking. Up next: Citizens Bank! Then: Felipe’s!
10. Trying to hide secret identity from supervillains who would otherwise ruin their bitchin’ social life.
11. Heading to the Pit, just to chill with some friends (or for some good ol’ fashioned gang warfare—Harvard vs. Hipsters).
12. Their other suit is at the dry cleaners, so they had to wear one of their spares.
13. They’re trying to impress their hot TF (because clearly their grades won’t impress anyone).
14. They recently got a BlackBwerry and felt obligated to buy a suit to go with it.
15. Ad Boarded.
Much Ado About Buzz
Harvard Seeks To Dismiss Cosby Civil SuitFacing a lawsuit faulting the University and Lowell House administrators for the death of a 21-year-old man on Harvard’s campus in 2009, Harvard said in a legal filing last week that it cannot be blamed for the death of a non-student drug dealer who was killed during a transaction in Kirkland House.
An Unfounded LawsuitThough Lowell House administrators did show a marked neglect of Harvard’s policies in overlooking Copney’s presence in the House, Harvard cannot be held responsible for a crime upon which it had no proximate influence.
Analysis: Precedent for Divestment Suit Is Tenuous, Legal Experts Say