Andrew A. White
Non-Thesis-Writing Senior Experiences a Totally Normal Week
“It was a totally ordinary Tuesday night,” said John. “I was watching seasons two through five of ‘The Office’ on Netflix, and suddenly my roommates came in, all excited. They were way happier than I’ve seen them in months. It was weird.”
Date Spots: A Single Man’s Perspective
Hey there, lovebirds! It’s Valentine’s Day, and you know what that means: Dozens of you will be having happy, romantic evenings around the Square tonight, while the rest of us will be stuck with whatever questionable casserole HUDS feels like serving. But it doesn’t have to be that way! FM is here to find you a restaurant that’s singles friendly.
Venn Diagram: Eggs Benedict and Pope Benedict
FM compares eggs benedict and Pope Benedict.
The Word: Inoculation
I am the whitest kid I know. From the pale skin, to the boat shoes, to the taste for pop ...
The Crimson Weatherboard’s Weekly Weather Review
It’s not easy to admit it when you’re wrong. It’s not easy to do one armed pull ups.
The Crimson Weatherboard’s Weekly Weather Review
I no longer know what to believe in. One day, glorious winter is upon us, sheathing us in a cold white burrito wrap and masking the falseness that lies beneath in the austere perfection of thinglessness. Rarely has my heart been as thrilled as when I saw the world reduced to this.
Almost Famous
I took a perverse joy in making my friends’ parents uncomfortable, explaining in more detail than they wanted how my job had me cleaning up fake body fluids and fetching dildos from the storeroom whenever they asked about my “interesting” work.
The Crimson Weatherboard’s Weekly Weather Review
Dear “Dear Readers” Readers, I have a confession to make.
The Crimson Weather Board’s Weekly Weather Review
Happy Halloween, 11.5 months belated.
The Crimson Weatherboard's Weekly Weather Review
I’d stay home and babysit my sister while mother would go off and sweat on sad middle-aged men who weren’t my father. The sweat would bead like rain drops on a car window.
