Stays up all night working on thesis:
Ten more pages and then I will shower!
Looks for a job at Goldman Sachs:
I’m just doing finance for two years. Then I’ll work for a nonprofit. I promise.
Fall asleep at some point, and wake up not knowing where they are:
Hi, I'm Charles. Nice to meet you. Umm, where did we put my pants? Also, is this Lowell or Quincy?
Grandpa, you can't keep walking away like that. I know, I know. That building used to be a forest, but you can't urinate on it.
Worry about the hereafter: hell at age 22 or after 80-something years?
Umm, I’m still exploring my options. I might just work as an elf and chill for a year.
Honey, I’m probably going to hell. I’ve done a lot of missed up stuff. Remember that time with the puppies...?
Stays up all night watching “The Price Is Right”:
These fools always overbid. There’s no way an Oreck vacuum would cost that much.
Looks for a tube of Gold Bond ointment:
That damn rash is back again, honey. Where’s the cream?