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Material Girl

Blue Is the Most Contentious Color

April 01, 2014

One of the lesbians had smashed head first into the wall so hard she left a face-sized indent in the plaster. I still remember it: the crumpled outline of her cheek in the off-white drywall, her heavy, wrinkled body on the bed before it.

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Lord Macaulay Doesn’t Like The Way You Have Sex

March 11, 2014

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Another Sexy Article About College Ladies

February 25, 2014

Susan Patton’s most recent Wall Street Journal op-ed advises college women to stop gorging on Japanese takeout and get hitched to elite male classmates before their biological clocks melt like Dali paintings. A sequel to her March 2013 Letter to the Editor, which earned Patton a book deal, her latest piece has provoked a bevy of humorous and outraged responses along the lines of: “Could you back off the rampant gender stereotyping for a second?”

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“Are You Clean?”

February 11, 2014

Before I learned that kissing a girl was not a provisional and thus inferior form of makeout, this question perplexed me to no end: Who was your first kiss?

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