What Kind of Harvard Friend Are You?

By Tina Chen

We know you’re a great friend. An amazing friend. An absolutely fantabulous friend. But, umm, exactly what kind of friend are you? Take this quiz, and we’ll let you know.

Which HUDS dish would you trade your firstborn for?

A) Anything with lentils

B) Sunday Sundaes — they’re the only thing getting me through the week

C) Red’s Best Catch — what wouldn’t I do to go back to simpler times?

D) French Toast — at least I made it to breakfast

E) None of them???

How much sleep do you get per night?

A) More than my roommate, apparently

B) As many hours as Sleep 101 says I should

C) Eight (minutes)

D) What is sleep but a social construct?

E) Do you mean “per morning?”

You catch a tourist touching the foot. What do you do?

A)Touch it with them

B) Run away screaming

C) Make sure it’s broadcast on national television

D) Set the statue on fire

E) Gather an audience, so you don’t have to witness it alone

What’s your ideal class size?

A) About 12 students, seminar-style

B) Between 50 and 100 students

C) Two students, I crave intimacy

D) 300 students at least

E) Between 20 and 50 students: I want to feel seen but I’d rather not be heard

How do you respond to a friend falling out of touch?

A) Bribe them

B) Go to their office hours so they’re forced to talk to me

C) Staring at my phone until I break it with the intensity of my gaze

D) Hold their iPad hostage

E) Fade into oblivion

What is, in your opinion, your greatest weakness?

A) Having weaknesses is overrated.

B) My perfectionism and attention to detail (if my interviewer asks)

C) Overloading myself! Yes, I have five articles to write, three psets, and a date on Valentine’s Day

D) I can’t start my 10-page paper until 20 minutes before the deadline!

E) My physical need for sleep

What’s your favorite conversation topic?

A) That one time I saw Dean Khurana in Berg

B) Dean Khurana’s Insta

C) My strat for getting on Dean Khurana’s Insta

D) Dean Khurana’s playlist!!

E) Conspiracy theory: Dean Khurana is Remy the Cat

What’s your ideal night out?

A) Breaking into the Dhall for off-brand cereal

B) In bed…

C) Watching movies with the roomies

D) A themed party!!!

E) Getting out of this CITY, am I right

Your friend just called you on the phone screaming and crying. What’s up?

A) HUDS food suddenly tastes good — “Am I dying?”

B) Their professor didn’t grant them an extension

C) “Johnny Boy chased me through Harvard Yard!”

D)It’s 11:50 p.m. and they have 20 pages to write before midnight

E) They saw a rat… again

And, finally, what do you look for in a friend?

A) Someone distracting enough that HUDS seems edible

B) A pset partner at the math lounge

C) Someone as crazy as my roommates on a Saturday night

D) People have friends?

E) A shoulder to cry on


Mostly A’s: Dhall meal buddy

90 percent of the time we spend together involves us inhaling food during the 20 minute slot of free time that lined up on our GCals, but we’re so glad to have you in our corner. You’re an amazing listener and someone who uplifts every one us with your ability to see the best in everything — even HUDS food.

Mostly B’s: Pset buddy

You’re super dependable and always ready to help someone in need/anguish/the very serious, soul-crushing pain caused by the very real sickness of being a (Harvard) student. An academic weapon with a heart of gold.

Mostly C’s: Blockmate

You’re someone who makes the people closest to you think, “If friends were flowers I’d pick you first.” You’re oh-so-nosey and a bit overinvested in our love lives, but also so, so loved, and if there’s anyone we want by our side during our everyday crises, it’s you.

Mostly D’s: Sneaky link

You won’t let yourself be loved, but, tough luck, we want to see more of you. We might need to invest three psets-worth of energy to find you, but every moment with you is one to cherish.

Mostly E’s: Remy’s Go-To

You’re Remy’s favorite, and we’re so jealous but know that it’s well deserved. You’re the perfect mix of comforting and unpredictable, and time with you is sure to be a blast.

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