Han Yu ’06
House: The Dudley Co-op
Hometown: Fuzhou, Fujian, People’s Republic of China.
Ideal date: A beauty queen handcuffed me to her futon.
Ideal mate: Someone who can cook Asian specialties and be funny and serious.
Your sexiest physical trait: Carefully arranged, unkempt hair.
Best way for a girl to get your attention: Eye me.
Where to find you on a Saturday night: At home, naked.
First thing you notice about a girl: Is she dorky? And then I wonder, does she respond to sexual advances?
What are you looking for in a girl? Well-proportioned physical characteristics.
Your best pickup line: “Come on...less drama, more action.”
The most memorable pickup line ever tried on you: Yesterday a Harvard Square panhandler eyed me and said, “I don’t want your ass.”
Best or worst lie you’ve ever told? “Mom, I wasn’t doing drugs! OK, fine, I was.”
Favorite thing about Harvard: The Co-op, in all its crunchy, homey, off-campus glory.
Most important thing you’ve learned at Harvard so far: I’ve never been in an institution so supportive of my narcissism.
Sketchiest moment at Harvard: I was attacked by the large, open, wet mouth of Crazy Greg.
One thing you must do before graduation: Run Primal Scream with a flopping strap-on.
Describe yourself in three words: www.hanacious.com.
In 15 minutes you are: Masturbating.
In 15 years you are: An artist.