Ah, Sophomore fall: a time to put down those Pumpkin Spice Lattes and pick up some social climbing habits for punch season! For the uninitiated, Punch might just be one of the rudest things on this campus already (aside from tourists that block the path to your 9 a.m. when you're already ten minutes late), so don't make our lives worse by committing these punch missteps.
Being “too busy” and taking three classes
No matter how cool you think you are, your social climbing ways should never take the time commitment of a fourth class (yes, even Hebrew Bible). The rest of us are out here trying to “play school” and we don’t need this reminder that you’re planning on using your final club connects to get a job while we struggle to maintain a decent GPA, even with grade inflation.
Slipping that you were punched by the PC into every conversation
Honestly, there’s something to be said for the fact that even calling it the PC (instead of the Porcellian) is rude by assuming that everyone knows what you’re talking about. Even so, we truly don’t care that you’re among the “chosen ones”, so just stop talking about it.
Wearing your cocktail business-casual attire and nametag the whole day
If you come to the dining hall in a suit with a nametag still on, you’re just asking us to ask you where you’ve been. There are only two possible answers: a recruiting event or a punch event, and neither bodes well for your image. This move is simply PDA—public display of attention seeking.
Swarming the punchmasters and ditching your friends at the event
Don’t think we don’t know what you’re up to when you make a beeline (it’s a pun, get it?) to the punchmasters the second you step into the room. Like the good Harvard student you are, you see punch as a zero sum game where any chance of your friends' success detracts from your own. It’s rude.
This list is by no means exhaustive, since punch is a prime time for rudeness. But please, watch out for these glaring punch mistakes. And don’t be surprised if you find your friends calling you out with their new catch phrase: Dude, that’s rude.