15 Questions with David R. Sedaris

David R. Sedaris, author of such popular collections of stories as “Holidays On Ice,” “Me Talk Pretty One Day,” and his new compilation, “Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary,” isn’t one to show off his literary success. Sedaris pays no heed to the critical reception of his work, and (sadly) doesn’t even read his own interviews. Punctuating his sentences with “gosh” and “golly,” the humorist chatted with FM about surviving the holiday season, meeting writer Amy Hempel, and his impression of Harvard.

1. Fifteen Minutes: What inspired you to write “Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk”?

David R. Sedaris: Audio collections of really, really bad South African folktales. I just started reading them and thought, “I can do better than this.”

2. FM: How have you felt about its critical reception thus far?

DRS: Oh my goodness. I don’t ever read any reviews—I have no idea what its critical reception is. My publicist told me she would tell me if there was something really horrible so I would know about it. And she hasn’t told me anything so far. Although she told me, “There was nothing terrible, but there was a review in The Harvard Crimson that I didn’t understand at all.”

3. FM: Do you think animals are inherently funny?

DRS: No, I just used animals instead of people because I think that you can sort of sneak up on a reader that way. If you use people, people will think, “Oh my God, that’s me,” and then not want to finish reading it. But if you use an animal, they will read it and then at the end say, “Oh my god that’s me,” and you can sort of sneak up on them that way. It puts a bit of distance between the story and the reader.

4. FM: What work are you most proud of?

DRS: Golly. I’m not the biggest champion of my own writing. I liked a story “Nuit of the Living Dead” that I wrote about drowning a mouse in a bucket. I like the way that it kind of moves. It’s the sort of story that feels grown up to me, as much as a story about drowning a mouse in a bucket can feel grown up.

5. FM: If someone had never read any of your writing before, which collection or stories would you suggest they begin with?

DRS: I suppose I would suggest that one, and then it could all just be downhill from there. It would be a nice downhill ride.

6. FM: Most of your stories are about interesting life experiences. Do you think someone with a bland life can be a good humorist or writer?

DRS: Oh sure. I mean I think that one’s job is to make something out of nothing. My life is really unadventurous but that’s because I spend most of my time alone in a room writing. Big things don’t really happen in my life. Golly, my last story in The New Yorker was about standing in a line. Standing in a line getting a flight canceled happens to a lot of people and perhaps that’s why it works. The things that I do, the things I choose to write about, are pretty much the things that everybody does.

7. FM: Have you ever considered film adaptations of your works?

DRS: Right now a fellow named Kyle Alvarez is making a movie out of a story I wrote called “C.O.G.” The reasons I agreed to it were that a) I liked the first movie he made, and b) the story that he wants to adapt doesn’t involve my family. I’m in it, but none of my brothers or sisters are, or my mom. Because I so liked his first movie, I said OK. I don’t want any control over this movie. I don’t want script approval. I trust him. Most movies never get made, but I hope this one does because I just think so highly of this young man.

8. FM: What do you feel is the number one misconception that people have about you?

DRS: Oh gosh. Golly, I would have to probably read things about myself to know what their conceptions are. I don’t read anything, not reviews or interviews. I’m always surprised when I sign books and people hold back because they are afraid of me. And I think, really? What are you afraid of? I’m too timid to be mean to someone’s face. I don’t think people can tell when I don’t like them, which actually just makes someone so much scarier!

9. FM: Although holidays are often stressful, they seem to be a rich source of humor for you. What advice do you have for surviving the holiday season with your humor intact?

DRS: It’s all about gifts. Getting good gifts. A lot of people moan that they don’t get good gifts, but a lot of the time it’s your fault. If you get a bad gift, you have to say, “This is inappropriate; I would never want this.” My boyfriend Hugh, his family is more like “Did you get the e-mail I sent you for Christmas?” And it’s like “No, no, did you get the e-mail I wrote you about the computer I got you for Christmas?” As long as you make out gift-wise, there’s nothing not to like.

10. FM: Can you tell me about your practice of putting out a tip jar at readings?

DRS: That was several books ago. I feel like I really can’t do it again. I like to have a different theme for each tour, and that was my money-making tour. I made over $4,000 in tips. On this tour I’ve just been asking people for jokes and collecting jokes.

FM: What is the best joke you have collected so far?

DRS: I would say “What is the worst thing you can hear while you’re blowing Willie Nelson?” “I’m not Willie Nelson.” I mean the only reason you would blow him is because he’s Willie Nelson, so then to find out he’s not...(laughs)

11. FM: What is your opinion of Amy Hempel?

DRS: It’s so interesting because I just had coffee with Amy Hempel the day before yesterday. There are stories that Amy Hempel has written that I’ve read so many times I’ve memorized them. It’s hard to think of a writer that has had more of an influence on me than Amy Hempel. If you had told my younger self that he would ever sit down for coffee with Amy Hempel, I wouldn’t believe it. Sometimes you meet a writer and they disappoint you, but she doesn’t. Lorrie Moore, it was the same thing.

12. FM: What is your impression of Harvard?

DRS: Well, I did a few readings in that chapel at Harvard 10 years ago. I was always terribly Ivy League struck. I gave the commencement address at Princeton a few years ago. I think they give people modesty courses when they get in. It’s almost irritating to have it played down—you’re telling me that what I wanted my whole life isn’t worth it. And I refuse to believe that.

13. FM: How do you feel hearing that some of your work was taught in a Harvard course [English 185: Wit and Humor]?

DRS: Oh, I didn’t know that. I just feel awful that anyone would have to write a paper or be forced to read anything I’ve written.

14. FM: What advice do you have for aspiring writers or humorists?

DRS: My only advice would be to write every single day, and to read everything you can get your hands on. And then everything will take care of itself. If you write every day and read, you’re bound to get better. Impress upon students the need to have people within their network who provide “socio-emotional support.” I think to stay healthy as human beings, we need individuals to whom we can turn to confide almost anything.

15. FM: What career ambitions have you yet to fulfill?

DRS: Working at Waitrose. Waitrose is a supermarket chain in England, and I just got a green card, so I would like to see what I can do at Waitrose. Someone once told me, “Waitrose is just a cut above, isn’t it?” Which means its better than Tesco or Sainsbury’s. And that’s all I had to hear to know I wanted to work there.To be so lucky.