Flyby Horoscopes: Fall 2023

By Eve S. Jones

Your favorite amateur astrologists have returned. We’re back from a somewhat restful (see extreme heat), very entertaining (see Barbenheimer), and unfortunately retrograde (see I cried a lot) filled summer to predict your back to school experience. We can confidently conclude what you should prioritize as you get back into the swing of things. And remember, if our predictions are wrong or too right, blame the stars, not us.


There is something so fitting about beginning school in Virgo season, and this is your time to shine. You are vision boarding, buying new planners, downloading Notion (is it actually helpful? Asking for a friend), and making daily Container Store runs. Will the ambition persist? Probably you sexy, meticulous slayer, you. We just have one piece of advice. This week your first house will get a boost from Jupiter, meaning that now is the perfect time to examine how you really feel. You don’t need to go to therapy for this (though maybe you should). Just take the time to ensure your actions align with your true passions and emotions. Also, stop complaining about the heat.


Your kind roommates likely won’t say it, so let us: Please, for the love of God, finish unpacking. After full days of errands, exploring, and quality catch-ups, imagine how nice it would feel to return to a clean room. But don’t sweat it. We know you’ve been having fun dressing up for school, curating your fall playlists, and judging the first year key-on-necklace look. Unfortunately, in a couple days, you could feel unsettled by some strong emotions or difficult conversations. Try your best to refrain from overthinking. With the Moon in Gemini, you may experience heightened wisdom and intuition to navigate any problems that arise.


Amid the back-to-school activity, you may have found yourself speaking with more people and posting more than usual. You may feel overwhelmed, but do retreat! We are sensing that something with the moon will give you the surge of energy and passion needed to resync with others. Reach out to old and new connections and say yes to invitations. Also engage in energizing physical activity (just no hot yoga in this heat — speaking from personal experience).


Your adviser wasn’t lying. It’s true. You have 12 concentration requirements left with only four semesters to go. The stars are confident you’ll make it through. (Us, and your adviser, not so much.) With Jupiter in your sixth house, you may enter a time of accomplishment. Just remember success won’t come from cutting corners. That’s right, it’s time you actually purchase (and read!) your textbooks.


Let us be the first to say it: Stop looking at pictures of your dog because you have separation anxiety and also are lonely. With the Sun in your ninth house, it’s the time to open yourself up to a romantic breakthrough. Text an old fling or sit next to your section crush. Capitalize on the warm weather, the great vibes, and your quickly fading summer tan. Give into FOMO! Be bold! We know this seems like terrible advice — that’s how you know the stars (we) really mean it.


You’ve told everyone that you’re excited for school to “bring some structure into your life,” but you are already bored with your classes. Rats. But good news! Your quarter moon is in your celebrity house. This means now is the time to wear your daring outfits, post that Tiktok draft, and do that face mask. We’re confident you will turn heads. Just remember: Don’t get carried away. With many planets in retrograde, subtlety is your best friend.


You swear the walk through the Square is cursed — running into old faces and talking about your summer (again and again and…) can certainly be draining. However, as Jupiter and the Sun move into your house of communication, focus on developing connections. This can take many forms: Instagram stalk the new couples, spend some quality time with your roommates, get a meal with the person you keep saying you will get a meal with, and open yourself up to unexpected friendships.


It’s been difficult. You still haven’t determined the most tactful way to tell your roommate you don’t like their common room wall art. Don’t worry, dear Aries, we know you are patient and flexible (somewhere deep, deep down). Next week, Jupiter in Taurus aligns with the Virgo Sun in your sixth house of service (this is not made up). That means the new semester should consist of acts of kindness. Let someone cut you in the dhall, don’t roll your eyes in section, watch the Crimson Jam openers. Still skeptical? It’ll be good for you and the world! Also, stop complaining about the heat.


Picture this: Over the summer, you built many healthy habits. You read more, went on walks, got into yoga, drank water, and cooked delectable meals. Now, returning to campus, you are unsure of how you will stay grounded. The Coop is overwhelming, it’s hot outside, (Down Under is offering 4 weeks unlimited for $49!), your Hydroflask is nowhere to be found, and your culinary options are limited to the measly microfridge and school-provided coffee table. Nevertheless, we know you can stick to it! Block off time for self-care, include others in your rituals, and get creative. You’ll start the semester off right, and we are all jealous. Maybe this was too specific and not at all your experience. If so, sorry… you’re clearly doing something wrong.


You may be questioning your schedule, major, future, life, decision to skip the Eras Tour, and, honestly, every other decision you have ever made, as well. How do you cope? Back to school functions galore. We haven’t even had a real weekend on campus, but everybody knows that FDOC, SDOC, and TDOC are effectively Fridays. Heed our warning: Even though the steamy rooms, cheap alcohol, and questionable house music will miss you, consider some rest and reflection during the Jupiter retrograde. Take the opportunity to find some inner balance and avoid falling back into the bad habits of your past. Leave things on read! (Whatever that means.)


You went back and forth about whether you needed the bigger bed. Whatever decision you made, you probably regret. While you, dear Cancer, often make decisions intuitively, you may be doubting your instincts. The beginning of school generates many opportunities for indecision (note that it is unsustainable to shop seven classes for a month). Decisiveness can be hard, but we urge you to trust your gut, heart, mind, body, soul, arm, spine, hair, etc. etc. Trusting yourself (and us) will lead to many new and exciting experiences. Also, stop complaining about the heat.


This summer was, dare we say, a movie. You crushed your job, made many new friends, and reinvented your style several times. Was it a struggle to fit all your new clothes into your dorm closet? Sure. Was it definitely necessary to pack three pairs of cowboy boots? Yes, duh. But even the most Leo of Leos needs to press pause. Take the time to adjust to your new space, appreciate the touching back to school moments, and focus on true collaboration with others. Your eleventh house (and sleep schedule) will thank you.

We hope this was informative! And, while we are overly confident in our predictions, as always, the semester is in your hands. Go get ’em!

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