Kyle P. Smith '03
Hometown: San Diego, Calif.
Ideal date: The mall, obviously.
Ideal mate: The sex appeal of Johnny Knoxville combined with the insane party tactics of Bijou Phillips.
Your sexiest physical trait: My long-limbed clumsiness.
Best way for a guy to get your attention: Be a parody of yourself.
Sketchiest moment at Harvard: Consummating my relationship with someone once known as the Magical Mr. Mistoffeles.
Any advice to the ignorant first-years out there? Graduate ASAP.
Where to find you on a Saturday night: Snorting Ritalin by myself and dancing to New Order.
Your best pick-up line: “Hi, are you from Pearl Harbor? ’Cause baby, you’re the bomb!”
The most memorable pick-up line a guy has ever tried on you: “I knew Versace. He was okay...he was NOTHING.”
Describe yourself in three words: Self-obsessed and sexxee.
In 15 months you are: Assistant Kimmie.
In 15 years you are: Anna Nicole.