The blog of The Harvard Crimson

Love it or Hate it: Formal Season

Leverett Formal
Leverett House sets up for its 2017 spring formal
Love It: Sorry Autumn, This is the Best Season of the Year — Rachel L. Reynolds

The time has finally come to put away those psets and papers, and pick up your fancy dresses and bowties. Formal season has come to pull you out of that deep midterm season funk and let you dance your cares away before finals. With some bopping music, fun themes, and great pals, there really is something for everyone to enjoy.

Are you the friend who shows up to class every day dressed to the nines? Get ready for the perfect opportunity to get even more dolled up than usual. We all love a chance to do some online shopping in order to procrastinate, and this is truly no exception! Do you thrive as the mom of the group in any situation? Get ready to hype up all of your best pals and capture their best angles as the designated photographer a la “Mean Girls.” And even if you’re just there to see your dhall crush looking even better than usual or maybe to get that perfect post for your Instagram, you can’t go wrong here. More than anything, formal szn is the time to live out all those classic teen movies of your dreams!

Hate It: You’re Bad at Dancing Anyway — Michelle C. Lara

Ah, yes! Let us go ahead and buy four different formal dresses that we won’t use again until next year, if at all. That’s money that could’ve gone to a Tatte sandwich or a Felipe’s burrito.

Like bears, college students tend to hibernate and gain weight during winter, meaning that your fun and frilly dress from last summer will be a no-go for formal season. As a college student, you’ll also have to venture a little further for the cute but still affordable clothes out there, since the few clothing stores in Harvard Square don’t exactly offer our idea of a sustainable price point (Anthropology and Ann Taylor, we’re looking at you).

Plus, there’s really no reason to be excited about spending three hours listening to incredibly mediocre music while awkwardly standing around and making accidental eye contact with people from work or who you forgot were in your class. Do you really want to “get low” in front of your comp director? And when the occasional good song does come on, your stomach will probably hurt too much to dance — all thanks to the cold and greasy food you ate beforehand.

Oh, and let’s not forget that you still haven’t started studying for finals. Ask yourself: Is failing your exams really worth the Instagram picture that everyone else is also posting?

Flyby's Spring 2019 Playlist

Flyby's Spring 2019 Playlist
With the weather finally getting warmer, you may want to skip the shuttle and opt for a nice walk between classes. But to go along with the spring season, you’ll also need a new playlist. Enjoy the fresh air while also taking in the fresh new beats that Flyby has put together for you! With this eclectic playlist, listen to not only the latest Jonas Brothers and Bazzi hits, but also some more obscure songs that we hope will get you through the last weeks of classes and finals.

We present: Flyby’s Spring 2019 Playlist.

Dude, That's Rude: Assignments

Canvas
As college students, assignments are constantly on our minds and schedules. While we all have the rare classes that give us some nice, simple assignments (thanks Ancient Greek Hero!), many professors and teaching fellows hand out grueling assignments that seem wholly unfair. There are some things that just shouldn’t be done when assigning work.

Single-Spaced Papers

Imagine this — you’ve gone into a class prepared for the 5-10 page papers listed on the syllabus. You’re feeling good, ready to start writing, until you hear the worst words in the English language: single-spaced. Single-spaced papers defeat the point of giving the page limit ahead of time, since the amount of writing doubles. It’s ridiculous: Double-spaced papers are much easier to read, and students are used to calculating how long they will take to write. Single-spaced papers help no one in this process, and are simply a painful trick to make it seem like your assignments are shorter than they actually are.

Multi-Part Questions

Again, we’ve all been here. Your TF has apparently blessed you with a shorter pset — only 3 questions this week! Then, you open up your pset and are hit with it: parts a-j on problem 1, parts a-h on problem 2, and parts a-o on problem 3. Why? This trick done by teaching staff is just cruel, and it’s worse than just making each part its own question. And for the love of all that is holy, please don’t even consider adding subparts to the subparts of problems.

Assignments Due on Exam Day

You know what students don’t have time for when they are studying for an exam worth 40 percent of their overall grade? Doing a pset for the same class. Such assignments are the trademark of the quintessential self-important professor, thinking their class is always a top priority. The rudeness only increases if the pset is on material not on the pressing midterm, or the pset is harder and longer than usual.

While we have built up a tolerance to lots of the shenanigans pulled on assignments, there are certain things that clearly cross a line. If you have a TF or professor that does these things, just tell them, “dude, that’s rude.”

Which HUDS Classic Are You?

1. It’s Friday night! What’s your go-to routine?

A) Whatever my friends are up to! I’m always down for a good time!

B) Wherever the night takes me!

C) Rolling whichever JCR has the most people in it.

D) Probably streaming a new Netflix original, but I could be convinced to ditch my PJs for a good time.

2. What’s your favorite study nook?

A) LamCaf! It’s got cozy couches, sunshine, and soft conversation as ambience… what else could you possibly need?

B) The depths of the Widener stacks. It may be a labyrinth in there, but you sure can get into the grind.

C) A common room or dhall. I need some activity around me to remember that there’s life outside of this study guide.

D) Usually in my room with a cup of tea. It’s easier to focus in my own space.

3. If you had to pick a Harvard quirk/tradition to describe yourself, it would be…

A) Datamatch

B) Using every word but “Harvard” to name the school I attend when asked.

C) John Harvard’s Foot

D) Housing Day

4. You just matched with your dhall crush on Tinder! Where’s your first date?

A) Exploring Quincy Market and taking some ~sweet~ pictures downtown!

B) Probably museum-hopping or exploring Boston. The less of a plan, the better!

C) Checking out a concert and then food afterward.

D) A movie night at my place!

5. How do you relax after a stressful midterm?

A) Grab some Jefe’s with my friends and complain about how vague the questions were.

B) Watch Black Mirror until I forget that we don’t live in a technological dystopia.

C) Grind at the gym until I can’t remember what subject my test was on.

D) A classic treat yo’self night — spend absurd amounts of BoardPlus and marathon TV.

Mostly A’s… Cookie Bar

You’re super sweet, a fan favorite, and hard to find. Like the beloved HUDS dessert, the sight of you can turn anyone’s day around, and you pair perfectly with anything. A rare combination, but we love you all the more for it.

Mostly B’s… Red’s Best Catch

Mysterious, changes week to week, appreciated by a select few… You’re Red’s Best Catch! You might identify a little more with the brooding loner stereotype than you care to admit, but that doesn’t mean you’re without fans!

Mostly C’s… Curly Fries

You’re an all-star in every respect. You can steal the spotlight of any show, and people can never get enough of you (speaking as someone who has loaded up a plate of just curly fries at the dhall).

Mostly D’s… Grilled Cheese from the Grill

Dependable, but still a delight! Just like the students that rely on the Grill to rescue them from a particularly ~creative~ meal, you’re always there in times of need

Burst the Bubble: Kendall Square

Kendall
Reading Period is coming up quickly, and with it, even more opportunities to procrastinate. Why not take this time to finally break the Harvard bubble like you’ve been saying you would since Shopping Week? If the thought of venturing all the way into Boston strikes fear into your lazy and/or T-illiterate heart, no worries — Kendall Square is the perfect first step. Check out some of our favorite places around Kendall for a break from campus when Boston just seems too far away.

The Garment District

When someone says Kendall Square, the first thing many of us think of is the Garment District. If you haven’t been before, get ready for some extreme thrifting. With piles of clothes for two dollars a pound, you really can’t beat the prices here — that is, as long as you’re willing to do some digging.

The Friendly Toast

Want that dhall-style Sunday brunch but kicked up a notch? Sure, you might miss out on the Veritaffles, but this cozy eatery is known for their homemade bread, delicious cakes, and savory meals. Grab some friends for a great weekend study break, but make sure to get there early – this is a hot spot, so lines can get long!

Cambridge Center Roof Garden

The grass is finally growing in the Yard, but if you’re really wanting to bring that summer feeling back this is a great hidden gem located on the roof of a parking garage. Grab your snacks and picnic blanket and head up to the top floor of the East Parking Garage at at 4 Cambridge Center next time we have another sunny day.

Tatte (Kendall Square Edition)

Perfect for those of us who might get a little homesick, Tatte in Kendall is a chance to get out of Harvard Square without feeling like you’ve fully left. Make an adventure out of getting to that warm bread smell we all know and love, and feel even better about buying three chocolate croissants after a scenic walk.

Only two T stops away — or a 43 min walk for those of us who are a little more athletic — Kendall Square is home to an assortment of great places to whittle away some time. Whether you’re going for some fun times with friends or just going to escape the stress of Harvard’s campus, you’re sure to find the perfect place to shop, lay outside, or snack your stress away.

Let's Be Real: Extracurriculars

Student Activities Fair
There’s nothing like the fall activities fair to strike fear into the hearts of young freshmen. Suddenly people stop asking what your name is, what hometown you’re from or what your freshman dorm is, and instead start asking which consulting group you’re trying to join or what cut comp you’re completing. It’s scary. It’s overwhelming. And it’s also totally not that big of a deal. As we near the end of the semester, when everything is suddenly 1,000 times more stressful, it’s time to get real about all your commitments. Here’s the tea on clubs.

This is not high school

You don’t have to stack your resume with yearbook, National Honor Society positions, and lacrosse medals. No matter where you’re heading right after college, nobody will really care about the seven clubs you were ~kind of part of~ your freshman year. Don’t fall prey to the Harvard push to overcommit and then inevitably underdeliver. Every person has their own threshold for what they can reasonably do.

Free time > everything else

Here’s the dirtiest little secret about life: free time is the best time. Cutting down on clubs means more time to do everything else, be it p-sets or actually having a social life. You can have an extra long meal in the dhall with friends you rarely see. You can reenact the First-Year Outdoor Program and walk to the Quad. You can use your Board Plus to get a morning (not 2 a.m.) coffee, and then for once in your life get to bed at a normal time.

Focus on the good stuff

We’re not saying you should stop doing every club. Clubs can offer a fun community, a way to while away the hours, or something to talk about to your grandmother when she asks you how college is going. So stick with the ones whose meetings you genuinely want to go to. Clubs are something you choose to do, so they shouldn’t make you miserable. If a club doesn’t spark joy, let it go.

Chill out

Your merit as a person is not correlated to whether or not you make the comp for a consulting/finance/art/humor/literally anything organization. Think about it this way: everything you don’t do leaves more space to do other things, and at Harvard we’re never at a loss for things to do. Go to a talk at the Business School. Get a part time job. Actually do your readings for class. Clubs don’t have to take over your life.

This is college, and while clubs can be great (especially ones where you write for The Crimson’s Blog *wink wink*), there’s nothing like the rush of clicking “Delete this and following events” for a club meeting on your Google Calendar. Self care is knowing what you can and want to realistically commit to, and that’s something we could all use a little more of. Say it with us: Clubs! Are! Not! That! Important! Everybody! Chill! Out!

Quiz: Which Harvard-wide Email Are You?

Harvard President email
Take this fun quiz to figure out what type of Harvard-wide email you are!

1) When you’re with friends, how do you make them laugh?

A) Make the ultimate Dad joke

B) Tell an academic joke that goes over their heads

C) You don’t. You tell them something sad instead

D) Say “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell”

2) How do you spend your free time?

A) Constantly texting people if they want to do something or go out

B) Reading books or pursuing other academic endeavors

C) Staring out the window, waiting for the next time it snows

D) In Harvard University Health Services

3) What is your approach to dating?

A) The hopeless romantic

B) The realist

C) The heartbreaker

D) Love doesn’t exist — it’s just neurons firing

4) What’s your favorite place to study at Harvard?

A) The Smith Campus Center

B) The Yard

C) Wherever it’s the coldest

D) Wherever you can get the most vitamin D

5) Out of these options, you agree most with the idea that people …

A) Take you for granted

B) Feel ambivalent about you

C) Misunderstand you

D) Treat you like the plague

Results:

Mostly A’s … You’re the Office of Student Engagement’s Weekly Events Newsletter! Are you noticed all the time? No. But you’re definitely there, and are always down to hang out with friends. A total extrovert (sometimes overly so), you’re the glue that holds your friend group together.

Mostly B’s … You’re any Canvas notification email! You’re an academic — and a studious one at that. Whenever you can, you use the deductive powers of logic to solve your problems. Those kinds of skills can get you far, but it can also overly inflate your ego.

Mostly C’s … You’re a snow day-related email (that usually informs people that classes are still happening)! But you’re just misunderstood. You don’t want to tell people that the world isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but sometimes you just have to. Nothing wrong with that! Just make sure your truth-telling doesn’t make you cold or distant.

Mostly D’s … You’re a there’s-a-new-disease-going-around email! Your approach to everything is scientific — some might say overly scientific. Still, you’re a meme master and love to party, which often leads you to seek medical attention.

Which Harvard-wide email did you get? Were we right? Let us know in the comments!

Freshman Summer: It’s Not That Deep

Summer Opportunities Fair
At Harvard, we’re all familiar with midterm season, formals season, and “the highlight of my day is passing through the warm spot in front of Canaday” season, but we’re now entering yet another Harvard season: “What are you doing this summer?” season. For freshmen, this might be the first time that summer has seemed so important, and the buzz over “summer stuff” can easily become overwhelming.

If you’ve landed the summer of your dreams, you might be more than happy to answer the “what are you doing this summer?” question. If you’re not sure what this summer will bring, however, that question might be less fun. With countless daily emails advertising summer internships, research, study abroad, and more, it’s easy to feel like everyone else has it all figured out, and you’re just the lone, jobless student who reads more rejection letters than class readings these days.

But if you step away from the Harvard bubble, you’ll realize that while you frantically try to search for opportunities that are still open, your friends outside of the bubble couldn’t care less about their freshman summers and are happily planning (or not planning) stress-free summers. Harvard’s culture around summer internships can be intense, especially as a freshman when most opportunities aren’t targeted at you. However, this should be a big clue: Maybe it’s actually not that important what you do during your freshman summer.

As for me, I stressed profusely over summer opportunities throughout freshman fall and spring, but as someone who didn’t even know her concentration yet, I was overwhelmed with the possibilities and competition. How was I supposed to conduct a targeted and successful search when I had no idea what I wanted to do? In the end, I was driven by a desire to get away from home for at least a few weeks, and ended up proctoring on campus for most of the summer. Was it glamorous? No. But here’s the thing: Once I got past the “what are you doing this summer” question, no one cared anymore. My sophomore summer search hasn’t been hindered by the lack of a “resume boosting” freshman summer. In fact, I could have gained similar professional skills and experiences had I headed home for a low-key summer instead of finding summer plans in Cambridge.

So welcome to “what are you doing this summer?” season. If you’ve found the perfect opportunity as a freshman, good for you! Enjoy it, learn from it, and live your best life. But if you still aren’t sure what you’ll be doing or where you’ll be this summer, the same advice goes for you: Enjoy it, learn from it, and live your best life. No matter what you’ll be doing this summer, freshman summer does not define you in any way, shape, or form: It truly is just not that deep.

How to (Politely) Kick out your Roommate's Significant Other

Sophomore Bedroom Quincy
It’s 12:45 a.m., you have a quiz tomorrow, and all of your belongings are in your room. So is your roommate … and their significant other. Maybe this is the first encounter in a budding romance or maybe it’s a repeated affair. But you need to plug in your laptop and get some sleep. If you are standing at the door and pondering what to do, Flyby has some advice.

Text your roommate

This should always be the first step. Shoot a quick, “Let me know when I can come in” to signal that you’re a privacy-respecting, romance-supporting roommate, but that you are waiting at the door and please get the hell out. If they agree to let you know and you’re still waiting after a while, be honest and let them know that you really need to sleep. Hopefully your roommate has their ringer on, and this tactic will get the job done quickly and cleanly.

Knock on the door passive aggressively

As any proctor will tell you during opening days, passive aggression is the number one way to resolve roommate conflicts. This method is sure to induce some panicked shuffling, cries of “one second!,” and an avoidance of eye contact as you walk in. While the passive aggressive knock is efficient, it is low-impact. While mildly embarrassed, your roommate is unlikely to change their behavior in response to a meager knock. If you want your message to be received loud and clear, try our next tip.

Feign ignorance and just walk in

This tactic isn’t for the faint of heart, but sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do. Take a deep breath, muster your courage, and strut confidently on in. It is key to act surprised and apologetic when you catch them in the act, but that awkward look you’ll exchange is sure to kill the mood immediately. Additional benefits of this strategy include planting seeds of paranoia in your roommate going forward, and hopefully nudging them to do it in their partner’s room next time. If risking seeing something you don’t want to see isn’t worth it to you, move on to the next strategy.

Get your proctor

JUST KIDDING. Do not get your proctor.

Of course, open communication, honesty, and compromise are always viable tactics. But let’s be honest: What fun is that?

The New Barker Cafe Chocolate Croissant is to Die for

Barker Cafe Runs Out
The Barker Cafe has given this Humanities concentrator yet another reason to live: the new chocolate croissant. On principle, I am against spending my own money at BoardPlus locations (even though I know that I’m sort of paying Harvard for my “free money”), but I might actually fork some over for this delight of a pastry. I have watched plenty of “Great British Bake Off,” so I am extremely qualified to detail why this croissant is a divine blessing.

Let’s start by reminding our readers what the old chocolate croissant was like. It was very similar to the kind that Starbucks calls a chocolate croissant — which is to say, it was actually a pain au chocolat. A smallish pastry square with two solid bars of chocolate running through the middle, the faux croissant (fauxsant?) provided a decent amount of satisfaction, even if it wasn’t the most filling thing the cafe sold.

The new croissant? It is bigger, better, and more chocolatey than ever. I could eat the fauxsant as a pre-class snack and still be famished by the five-minute break in the middle of a seminar. The new and improved version is a breakfast in itself. I need to take a five-minute break from eating it so I can pay attention to class.

It’s actually shaped like a croissant, for starters, which (thanks to Google Translate) means “crescent” in French. The tips of this decadent crescent actually meet, so puffy and fulsome is this croissant. The chocolate drizzle is a nice touch, and the first time I ate this I figured that was the only chocolate content.

I was wrong.

The middle of the croissant contains a chocolate butter-type filling — like Nutella without the nuts — which makes for the perfect mid-pastry surprise (sorry to ruin the surprise). The best pastry offering can be further optimized, however. As nice as the croissant is, sitting in a pastry case all day dries it out, so try out this treat earlier in the day rather than later. (Also, these babies run out. If you’re the one eating all the croissants for breakfast on Wednesdays, meet me outside Barker tomorrow at noon. We need to talk.)

See, I could have kept this pastry secret all to myself, but I’m eating one as I write this so I feel pretty magnanimous. That’s just the beauty of the chocolate croissant. Treat yourself. Love yourself. Croissant yourself.

The Top 10 Brain Break Pick-Up Lines

Fresh Fruit
Cuffing season may be over, but it’s not too late to find your spring fling. Perhaps your latest eye candy has come out of the woodwork of the house or maybe you’re tired of pining over a longtime house crush. It’s time to make your move at Brain Break (i.e. what should be your nightly, house-wide mixer).

Here are some tried and true pick up lines to lay on the house hunny next time you’re beside them getting your cereal or leftover cheese cubes at Brain Break.

1) “If you’re looking for a snac(k), look no further.”

2) “Ugh, I hate it when they run out of bananas. But I sure find you very a-peeling.”

3) You: “Can you pass me a fork?”

*they hand you a fork*

You: “Thanks, but I’m really looking for a big/little spoon tonight.”

4) Alternatively, “Oh no, they’re out of forks. But that’s okay, I’m actually looking for a big/little spoon tonight.”

5) “You looking for some (Kashi) heart to heart this evening?”

6) “This brain break really sucks tonight. I can think of a different way to give your brain a break.”

7) “This brain break isn’t the only thing that looks like a mess but is actually pretty nice and cute.”

8) “I’m gonna make some toast.”

**Hold up bread by their face.**

“You’re so hot, you’re burning it.”

9) “Is your name bagel? Because you really are bae goals.”

10) “I’m sweeter than that HUDS cookie, and you better believe it”

These pick-up lines are the guaranteed perfect conversation starter for any dhall crush. Perhaps your crush will be flattered and wholeheartedly impressed by your wit and charm from these pick-up lines, thus landing yourself a housebae. On the other hand, maybe you will live the rest of your Harvard life trying to avoid awkward encounters with the person you tried these on. Regardless, even if these pickup lines fail, at least you’ll have gotten some kind of snack out of this ordeal.

Harvard Houses as Zodiac Signs

Zodiac Signs
Each of the houses at Harvard has a very unique personality which is determined by both the people in the house and the house atmosphere itself. Since there are 12 houses and 12 zodiac signs, the stars are clear: each house clearly has its own zodiac sign.

Winthrop: LEO

This one is obvious. Besides having a lion as its house mascot, Winthrop has the aggressive personality commonly attributed to Leos. Leos and Winthropians alike tend to think they’re amazing at everything, and they’re not exactly wrong (at least where IMs are concerned).

Mather: ARIES

Aries and Matherites are both known for their unstoppable energy. While it can be a little chaotic and, let’s be real, ugly at some points, it is definitely a good time. Mather is a good house, and Aries is a good sign.

Dunster: VIRGO

Virgos are known for their perfectionist nature, and have you ever met a person in Dunster that isn’t completely type A? Both Virgos and Dunster residents are logical and practical, unless their practicality is overcome by their need for perfection.

Currier: CANCER

Cancers are known for being incredibly intuitive, and all Currierites have that sixth sense of knowing exactly when the next Quad shuttle will arrive. Cancers are also adaptable, similar to the trees of Currier house adapting to the Quad Life.

Eliot: GEMINI

A controversial house and a controversial sign. Geminis are polarizing, much like the qualities of Eliot house. On one hand you have the good location and Fete, on the other you have housing options that aren’t exactly at the top of the heap.

Lowell: SCORPIO

Scorpios and Lowellians are a powerful and a dominant force on campus. Lowellellians have a lot of passion for their own house, but you may have to remind them at some point to talk about something besides themselves.

Cabot: PISCES

We can’t get that image of the dancing Cabot cod from their housing video out of our heads, so obviously we had to put the fish together. Pisces and Cabotians are imaginative, as seen in the Cabot musical and the creative reasons they give for why you should really meet them in the Quad, rather than making them come to the river.

Quincy: LIBRA

Libras are known for being balanced but indecisive. Quincy truly is such a balanced house, but it can’t really decide if it’s in River East or the Square or River West. This gives Quincy the ability to empathize with all houses but identify with no one — useful, but sad.

Leverett: CAPRICORN

Capricorns are defined by their intellectualism and cold nature. Given the sheer quantity of math and physics nights held in Leverett, it stands that the house has an intellectual nature. The cold nature becomes clear when you try to swipe into the dhall and get brutally rejected by BonLee.

Pfoho: SAGITTARIUS

The independence of Sagittariuses and Pfoho residents really jumps out, especially those who get to live in the lovely (albeit isolated) Jordans. Sagittarius is also known as an optimistic sign, and nothing is more optimistic than believing you can really add “pf” to the beginning every word without it getting ridiculous.

Adams: TAURUS

The defining taurus qualities are loyalty and self-indulgence. With a location that close to all the food in the Square, we can’t really fault Adam’s residents for how often they go get Jefe’s or JP Licks. Adam’s residents are also so incredibly loyal to their house they were able to say that it’s “where all the action happens” in their housing day video without laughing.

Kirkland: AQUARIUS

Aquarius is known as an innovative sign, and boy did Kirkland change the game with their iconic housing day video to the tune of “We Didn’t Start the Fire”. Aquarius, like taurus, is also known as a loyal sign, and what’s more loyal than the amazing Kirkland dogs?

What Your Reaction to Rain Says About You

Rain Rain
Are you a fan of rain, or do you run indoors and pull up the shuttle schedule at the slightest drizzle? Read on to reveal what your reaction to rain says about you.

The “I Didn’t Know It Would Be Raining”

They’re running late to class, it’s raining, and it’s too late to turn back and grab an umbrella or a respectable pair of shoes. Ultimately, they get soaked and regret their life decisions for the rest of the day. You know this person. You have been this person. We have all been this person. If you’re this person on the regular, though, you need to get your life together and subscribe to Harvard Today to get your daily weather report.

The “I Know It’s Raining, But I Don’t Care”

Not to be confused with the category above, this person knew full well that it would be raining, but now has to deal with their poor decision to ignore the all-mighty Boston weather. They may put on a brave face, but deep down, they regret their choices and secretly would do anything for an umbrella or raincoat, even though they would die before admitting it. If you’re this person, learn to be more in touch with your feelings and admit your mistakes — getting help (in the form of umbrellas or otherwise) is totally fine.

The Garbage Bagger

In a pinch and don’t have access to a more conventional method of rain protection? This person puts on a brave face and embraces creativity, making us wonder if “garbage bags as raincoats” is the newest trend. Whether they’re walking to the quad or running to class, this person may not fully have their life together, but they’re definitely doing their best. If you wear garbage bags instead of using umbrellas, we commend your self-confidence and your perseverance.

The Cute Rain Accessories

Not only is this person prepared for everything that life throws at them, but they are ready to face the rain with their cute rain boots and matching umbrella. While their preparation is admirable, it’s hard not to hate this person just a tiny bit for looking so unphased by the rain while everyone around them struggles. If you’re this person, we have just one question — can we join you under your umbrella? Because you truly seem to have it all together.

The Over-Dramatic One

It’s raining. We get it. But this person wants to make it known to the world that the precipitation has ruined their day and that it should ruin yours too. If you’re this person, you should take a deep breath and learn to roll with the punches.

No matter who you are, your true personality shines through when faced with everyone’s favorite feature of spring. Here’s to hoping that April showers really do bring May flowers.

Harvard Dating Lines to Make it or Break it

Dating
To say the least, the Harvard dating scene is not your average college dating scene. It sometimes seems impossible to just “catch a meal” with someone, and if you want to hear about dating woes straight from the mouths of students, just take a look at Harvard Confessions. With formals season coming up, however, many are on the lookout for a date. How do you know if they’re the one for you or if you’re better off just committing to your pset for now?

The Good…

If your date drops one of these, it’s safe to say you’ve found a keeper.

“I was featured in the Adams Housing Day video...”

Can we say starstruck? Adams’ video was top quality, so we’re betting your date must be too. Bonus points if they’ll perform a verse for you.

“Don’t worry, I cleared a day in my G-Cal for you!”

Wow, we can hear the wedding bells chiming already. If you can earn a few blocks in your sweetheart’s agenda, you know you’re a top priority.

The Bad…

Uh oh, major red flag alert! If you hear one of these, it may be time to jump ship.

“Oh my gosh! I recognize you from that party at the Igloo!”

Ouch. We love the Quad and its wholesome community, but some nights are best left forgotten. Maybe you can form a better connection when the sun’s out and your feet aren’t planted on sticky floor?

“I’m out of BoardPlus. Can you cover me?”

Really? A date on Harvard’s dime is always ideal, but mooching off your date is not the move. If you’re feeling forgiving, let it slide — but hopefully they offer to pick up the next date (if there is one).

The Ugly…

As soon as your date says one of these lines, make a speedy getaway. Things can only go downhill from here.

“Can I check if my AirPods charger works?”

TIME TO RUN. TROUBLE IS AFOOT.

“Yeah, and the most transformative thing about my McKinsey internship last summer was…”

We’re pretty sure no other college on the face of the planet has to deal with the whole is-this-a-date-or-do-they-just-want-me-to-endorse-them-on-LinkedIn issue. If resumes seem to be the only topic of conversation with your date, it might actually be an interview.

For those of you still in search of love post-Datamatch, be on the lookout for these key phrases on your next ~romantic~ encounter. Best of luck snagging a special someone to drag to the endless stream of formals coming up!

Do's and Don'ts of Flexing Your Harvard Acceptance

The COOP
Now that Harvard acceptances are out, a lucky 4.5 percent of applicants get to proudly say that they’re coming to Harvard next year. Sometimes, however, that college announcement process isn’t quite as easy as it seems.

DO: Post where you will be going to school next year

College is a big deal and most of your friends and family will be wondering where you will be going. You clearly worked hard and got into, objectively, the best Ivy League school. Make sure to tag your post with #Harvard2023 and check out the hashtag to see and be seen by your new classmates.

DON’T: Post all your acceptances

While many people care deeply about you, no one cares to see the long (or short) list of where you were accepted to college. Nobody has ever been impressed by an “Anybody else deciding between Harvard, Princeton, Stanford, and MIT?” post; you just look arrogant. We know it’s hard for you to decide, but we don’t need to be privy to your decision (and neither do the thousands of people who got rejected).

DO: Get a few pieces of Harvard Merch

Once you have decided you are a future member of the Crimson, it is important to get swag to match. Check out the COOP, or apparently even H&M or Forever 21, for some Harvard gear. Get a t-shirt, sweatshirt, classic H sweater, or even a tasteful Veritas tattoo above your eyebrow to show your school pride. Just make sure that Harvard gear does not become the only thing in your wardrobe.

DON’T: Ever explicitly say you go to Harvard

Saying you go to Harvard, or dropping the H-bomb, as some may say, is never to be done when first meeting someone. Start by saying you go to school in Boston, and those in the know will get your Crimson connection. If people press on, continue to get more specific about the location. I go to school in Cambridge…next to the Charles River...between MIT and Tufts...by the Harvard Square T stop.

DO: Connect with your fellow classmates to talk about Harvard

Harvard 2023 already has a Facebook group that is up and running, as well as many group chats based on location, potential concentrations, or interests. Join these groups so you can talk about how excited you are about Harvard, without seeming like you are constantly flexing.

No One: Harvard:

Fall in Harvard Yard
It’s no secret that sometimes Harvard says things that make everyone wonder who exactly is behind all of the decisions and emails. Whether you take comfort in the wholesome predictability(nothing better than a #transformative experience) or you revel in the latest screenshot-worthy statement, Harvard is never at a loss for words. Here are some of our favorites.

No one:

Harvard: “The University will remain open for normal operations”

No amount of ice and snow can keep us from our studies, right? Yes, it may be freezing outside, but that’s what Canada Goose jackets were made for! By now, we all know that school is usually cancelled everywhere but here — nothing like sliding down the steps of Widener after a long day of classes.

No one:

Harvard: “Yardfest is going to be on a Sunday afternoon”

If you thought that the sole purpose of Sunday was to mourn the upcoming week, Harvard is here to prove you wrong. Wipe away those tears and dance on over to that pre-Yardfest block party, because there’s no better time to party than on a brisk April Sunday afternoon. Broad daylight as a beautiful backdrop for forming memories of a lifetime? Count us in. We all love ourselves a good once-per-semester darty!

No one:

Harvard: “Yard Closure this Friday – Please Plan Accordingly”

The annual Student Involvement Fair and the Head Of the Charles Regatta: just two of a select number of days every year where Harvard finds a way to be more exclusive than it already is. In all seriousness, we know that these Yard closures work to maintain safety during our school’s particularly hectic and high-profile events. We’re just glad we no longer have to endure this kind of bag check security every time we stumble out of Lamont.

No one:

Harvard: “Stay hydrated”

It seems like Harvard jumps at every opportunity to remind us to do the thing that keeps us alive… strange. Sometimes they sprinkle in a loving “make sure you eat enough”, and remember the Sleep 101 module? We really don’t understand why they feel the need to remind us of these things. Truly stumped on this one.

No one:

Harvard: “Optimal buzz”

Again, there seems to be a pattern here. Props to Harvard for making sure that Freshman start their college experience with a good community-building meme before they even get to campus.

No one:

Harvard: “A transformative experience –”

All Dean Khurana wants is for us to get the most out of these four years, and we had to turn it into a meme. Kids these days. Must everything be a meme? (Yes.)

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