Fifteen Hottest Doors

Archdoor Franz Doordinand: Self-explanatory.
By Aidan M. Fitzsimons

With Winthrop’s $100 million renovation complete, many non-Winners (read: losers) are clamoring to peek inside the new buildings. But you don’t need to enter Winthrop to see its most striking feature: its doors. There are big doors and small doors. There are all sorts of doors. There are too many doors. Without further ado, FM presents the 15 most interesting Winthrop doors.

1. Doorothea Lange: This door’s plain appearance belies the complex photojournalist within. Maybe it’s offering us a statement of solidarity with the stoic unadorned masses of the Depression. Who knows

2. Door of Perception: Legend has it that this door opened when Aldous Huxley first tried mescaline in 1953 in the American Southwest. William Blake famously wrote that, if this door were opened, “Every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro’ narrow chinks of his cavern.”

3. The Front Door: This is the front door of Standish Hall. Pretty nice

4. Reggie: This is Reggie. Reggie really, really likes Japanese animator Hayao Miyazaki.

5. The Door to My Room: This is the door to my room. Notice the rug. Please don’t come in.

6. Jim Doorison: Poet, monster, prophet, and lead singer of revolutionary ’60s rock band The Doors. Taken from this world too soon by his own hubris, inner demons, the wild rebel fire that raged inside and spilled out of him, and a nice layer of wood finish.

7. Double Door: Hey man, it didn’t CHOOSE to be the door to the kitchen. And it’s got big bones. Lay off.

8. This Door: I asked this door for its name, but it was in a rush and just said “no comment.”

9. Driver’s Side Door of Starscream: Seemingly an ordinary door, this baby is in fact the driver’s side door of the vehicle form of Starscream, the Transformer, and notoriously sycophantic Decepticon second-in-command.

10. Doris: This is Doris. Doris is really good at bridge and always generous with a smile.

11. The Door to Knowledge: Yes, these are books. It’s called “making a point.”

12. Grand Door: This door, with its dope wood structure and regal clock, is a very popular hangout for mice in children’s books.

13. Archdoor Franz Doordinand: Self-explanatory.

14. Reginald: Reggie’s twin brother. Their parents were lazy. NOT THE SAME DOOR!

15. The Best Door: This is the best door.