Nicole J. Levin
Our ever-curious and anonymous freshman has Housing Day on his mind. Below, three of FM’s experts answer Josh’s questions about blocking group drama, floating, and avoiding the Quad.
It is Junior Parents Weekend, or JPW as your acronym-loving friend likes to call it. It’s time to take mom and pop to Harvest and remind them why they are paying so much money to send you to school 5,000 miles away—they only want to see you once a year. But when they aren’t buying you fancy food, things might get awkward. Luckily, I have some advice to keep your parents happily distracted during their stay.
Upon meeting me, Sam Cooper ’14 of Hot Breakfast offers me a plate of oysters from Eliot dining hall and informs me that I am his Datamatch. This might be a conflict of interest.
Getting gifts for Valentines Day has always been complicated (do you use debit or credit?) but the Hookup Culture has made the situation even more difficult. You shouldn’t buy anything that comes off as too clingy, but then again, you probably shouldn’t be buying anything at all. Luckily, I am here with some helpful advice.
Although Josh stopped coming to us for advice after the last “Advice to Josh” column, we decided to give our freshman friend some tips for how to survive Freshman Formal. Here are some of the questions we (rightly) assumed he would be asking. You’re welcome, Josh!
As a current editor of The Crimson I am alarmed that you have dropped your middle initial from your byline. You recently wrote that your middle initial is an unnecessary relic from your days at The Crimson and is no longer necessary for your career as an established journalist at The New York Times. As a Crimson editor it is my duty to reach out to you and correct this egregious stylistic error.
As the wise and respected social leader on campus, FM was inevitably going to be asked how to be “cool” one of these days. Recently, a first year we’ll call “Josh” (because his real name is Josh) came to us asking how to survive the brutal social life of a male Freshman on campus. Four of FM’s best weighed in to turn Josh’s social woes into social woooooahs.
That brought me to The Color Diet, something that I could at least camouflage as healthy. The Color Diet claims to introduce more vitamins into your meals by eating only one color a day. To prepare, I decided to eat a mix of every colored Starburst the night before.
Want to look good this Halloween but just realized you gained too much weight to go as a sexy cat again? Or maybe you just found out that the Garment District isn’t actually an entire district, and have been too embarrassed to go ever since? Or is it that you realized that the life-sized Furby costume that you’ve been planning isn’t as original as you thought? If you’ve answered yes to one or all of these questions, then you could use a last minute sexy Halloween costume. You could also use a refresher in high school rhetoric. The questions were rhetorical.
Pillows and beanbags were available for those who wanted to take advantage of the nap space.
Pillows distributed at the event gave tips and pointers regarding the benefits of sleep.
A passerby observes nappers at the Nap Attack event held last Friday, October 4th.
Yuqi Hou ‘15, event coordinator, arranges the napping space.
“Don’t write an article about this,” a representative of the Happiness Project told me, handing me a free extra-large t-shirt. It was a bribe. I took it.