Tunnels Between House Dining Halls Comprise Underworld of University

Since the Houses along the river have been built, the University has virtually a Maginot line of defense against invaders of sovereign Cambridge territory.

Actually, the Harvard underworld comprises a system of tunnels thousands of feet long extending from the Eliot House dining hall to Leverett constructed for the purpose of transporting food between the dining hall units.

Over a thousand men an women, employed by the University Dining Halls, have their own rest rooms and lockers below the ground. Ruler of this Plutonian community is Roy L. Westcott, genial administrator who keeps the underworld machinery running with precision.

Tunnels Kept Immaculate

Scrubbed annually and painted in alternate years, the white subterranean walls are spotless. To further insure cleanliness, food is conveyed in covered food-wagons, along constantly mopped floors.

The Crimson underground city, with its white walls and intricate machinery, resembles the bowels of an ocean liner. Among the various "infernal" machines located there is the University's ice plant and refrigeration system.

All the food for the five houses connected by the main tunnel system is prepared in an elaborate kitchen, situated under Kirkland and Eliot Houses, with separate units used for the various phases of the Harvard cuisine. The moats and vegetables are prepared in separate kitchens and a complete bakery supplies the entire university with bread and desserts.

Steam tunnels to Dunster House, across the river to the Business School, and under the Yard to the scientific laboratories constitute extensions of the underground labyrinth.

In fact should the Martians attack in the vicinity of Cambridge, there seems to be adequate space and equipment to keep everyone in the University safe from bombing. Why should Harvard men have recourse to the subway when they have a cleaner place to go? Madrid University students should have adopted the House plan long ago.