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Well, sports fans, it's Veteran's Day. And there's absolutely no reason to celebrate.
Unlike every other honest-to-goodness, work-less and mail-less American holiday, Veteran's Day has no major sports tradition associated with it. New Year's Day has college football, Memorial Day has baseball and Thanksgiving has the...well...the Detroit Lions.
And Veteran's Day? Nothing. Nada. Zip.
Take a look at the sports page today. Do you see any real sports news? I didn't think so. Now I can't speak for you, but I don't think that American sports fans or the holiday itself deserve such a gross injustice.
I believe that the sports world should not forget Veteran's Day. Maybe it would be appropriate for Ross Perot to convene a group of "world-class" experts to study the problem.
But Ross isn't here, so I'll step in.
First of all, forget all the obvious choices. Pro basketball has Christmas Day, pro football has Thanksgiving college basketball has New Year's Day and college basketball has barely started yet.
Second, the sport has to be American. Does pro hockey count? No way. When push comes to shove, we all know that hockey is a Canadian spot, not an American one. The idea of a Canadian sport being associated with one of our most treasured holidays is ridiculous.
Canadians wouldn't play baseball on Boxer Day, would they? (Of course, Boxer Day is in December, but that's besides the point.)
Veteran's Day require a uniquely American sport which has been underrepresented in the holiday-association game. The choice, I think, is obvious: bowling. Bowling is about as American as a sport can get. Sure, it may have come form those lawn games over in Europe, but bowling has become a uniquely American sport: the hard wooden alleys, the psychedelic colored balls and who could forget the funky-looking shoes and shirts.
We even have a drink named after bowling. An, surprisingly, this most American sport has no holidays associated with it, unless you count the occasional "Bowling Night" on ESPN. Veteran's Day and bowling would go perfect together.
I can see it now: Fathers across the country call to their families: "Come downstairs, the first frame is about to begin!"
Parents joining their kids to cheer on strikes and suffer through seven-ten splits. Bringing families together in front of a television set, giving relatives something to do beside talking to each other--such is the stuff that holiday sports traditions are made of.
Today's holiday is worthy of a sports tradition. And bowling is just the sport to provide it.
Ted G. Rose is a Crimson staff writer.
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