Spring Cleaning

Time for a little spring cleaning. Time to empty out the sports mind.

.Rewind the tapes to Opening Day at Fenway. Despite Roger Clemens looking more like Eric Clemons (from channel seven sports), everything went pretty well on Monday.

Except in the bleachers, where a "fan" threw an M-80 into the Red Sox bullpen.

I guess he didn't like the movement on Jeff Russell's curve.

Seriously though, what a lunatic. He's right out of the Vince Coleman school of social etiquette.

Call me conservative, but when you carry an explosive into a stadium and then proceed to throw the thing, you're not playing with a full deck.

The man belongs behind bars. We're all a little bit frustrated with the annual Fenway collapse, but this is going overboard.

The obscenities thrown back and forth in the bleachers is mildly offensive. But at least no one gets hurt.

When you need the bomb squad to escort you to your seat, however, the fun has gone a bit too far.

..I turned in for a little candlepin bowling this past weekend and sure enough, Bill Clinton was in the crowd.

Amazed, I changed the channel, thinking maybe the night before had been too much fun. Nothing much was on so I settled for cliff diving in Hawaii. No sooner do I sit down than I hear the announcer turn to his guest Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Seriously, you turn on the tube these days and those Clintons are everywhere.

Slick Willy put in a tough day on Monday. He was in Cleveland to throw out the first pitch, watched the first six innings and then flew off to Charlotte to watch his Hogs win the NCAA basketball crown.

Meanwhile, his wife, President Hillary, was in Chicago hanging out with the Cubs.

It's amazing what tax dollars can buy. But my only question is--where's poor Roger?

I guess he'll head off to the Masters this weekend. I hope someone tells him you're not supposed to scream and yell at this event.

...I never thought I'd see Michael Jordan ride a bus to a double-A baseball game. Many doubted his devotion to the sport.

I think Jordan has answered their questions. He may never make it to the majors, and something still tells me he'll be a Bull some day soon. But so far, I tip my hat to his attitude and persistence.

But, no Mike, you probably wouldn't be a hero if there were no sports.

....The NHL has got to take a firmer stance against Mario Lemieux.

For those who missed it, two nights ago, Lemieux first threw his stick at referee Kerry Fraser from the penalty box to display his disgust at one of Fraser's calls. Then, after Fraser ejected him, he charged out of the penalty box and had to be restrained by a couple of his Penguin teammates, although he still blasted the ref.

Lemieux left nothing for the imagination in voicing his feelings. And the league responded with a slap on the wrist. There was no suspension--just a 500 dollar fine.

Something tells me if it hadn't been Lemieux, the punishment would have been more strict.

.....Here's to Boston College for making this NCAA tournament more interesting than usual. And here's to seeing B.C. and UMass in the Final Four next year.

A long shot? Sure, but so are the Red Sox and they are well on their way to winning the World Series.