THE THESIS BEARD

He's easily recognizable. Just like the J. Crew or Polo man, he has his own unique style. The getup includes sweatpants, preferable gray, a sweatshirt complete with Harvard insignia or the name of his favorite city and white sneakers he would ordinarily wear nowhere but the MAC. Oh, but how could Dartboard forget? The most important part of the image--the scruffy beard. As thesis deadlines loom ever closer, senior men have become increasingly hairy. Styles have reverted to the pre-Peter the Great era, as men opt to type rather than shave.

And it shows. The beard is a status symbol. It is a declaration to the world: "Yes, I spend all day at my computer." No one questions a bearded man's commitment to his thesis. Dartboard wonders whether campus men would be equally understanding if women decided to stop shaving their legs.