Social Media’s Betrayal of Girlhood

A strange duality has emerged on social media: Pre-teens pump out flower-shaped dollops of anti-aging retinol creams, while 20-year-olds tie pink bows in their hair and append “girl” to every sentence. It seems that the trends of femininity on social media today reflect girls’ rejection of their own ages. Gen Alpha rebels against girlhood through their use of products made for much older audiences, while Gen Z longs for the frivolity and innocence of a lost girlhood. There is, however, a common thread between the generation that seeks to be aged and the one that seeks a return to youth.

Young girls have always played dress up, rummaging through their mothers’ closets and parading around as the adult of their dreams for the afternoon. But as soon as the dresses and shoes come off, they are instantly children again. Gen Alpha marks a stark contrast to this once universal childhood experience. The trend of adult beauty influencers showing their skincare routines in videos has trickled down to young girls through social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram. Rather than a girlish admiration of womanhood, as manifested through temporary dress-up sessions, today’s 10-year-olds mimic the trends they see online, regularly using products made for older women — like retinol creams and makeup — in their everyday routines.

The innocent infatuation with womanhood that past generations satisfied through dress-up is no longer so temporary and harmless: Today’s young girls face an age crisis, subject to older influencers advertising new anti-aging regimens. These skincare formulas have been deemed medically unnecessary for kids, both by dermatologists and by the brands that manufacture the products. Childhood innocence has grown obscured, and this obsession with appearances and excessive consumption learned through social media is to blame.

The TikTok-fueled age crisis manifests itself differently in Gen Z, however. This generation is inflicted with a seemingly universal longing for childhood, shown by all the recent “girl” trends. Our communal embrace of “girl” — the unapologetic love for simple, childish joys — is comforting. For a long time, patriarchy has shamed women for the things they love, but now, women are proudly rebranding their shared experiences. The love for walks is reclaimed as “hot girl walks,” and poor financial decisions are accredited to “girl math.” Perhaps this affinity could be considered empowering.

But what even caused this social media-driven age crisis? One culprit may be Covid-19. With months or even years of online schooling, even the youngest kids were forced to develop a relationship with computers and the internet in their everyday routine. Combined with the technological reliance of the so-called “iPad generation,” Gen Alpha’s record-high levels of social media usage may make them particularly susceptible to the influence of online trends.

At the onset of the Covid-19 pandemic, Gen Z was in the crucial developmental stages of middle school, high school, and early college, disrupting crucial transformative periods for this generation. As a freshman in high school at the time, the return to normalcy by my junior year felt jarring, like I was prematurely shoved into adulthood. Perhaps this longing for girlhood stems from a nostalgic desire for the security and simplicity of the youth so suddenly cut short.

The association of women with consumption is nothing new to a patriarchal society: Women are constantly told that to be female is to buy the Bath and Body Works catalog for Millenials, the Stanley Cup for Gen Z, and now, anti-aging skincare for Gen Alpha. As unsettling as it is to see Gen Alpha flocking to Sephora, their actions are a product of the intersection of capitalistic and patriarchal pressures on an entire generation’s culture.

The girlhood trend is no different. Despite the veneer of community it may lend, assigning girlhood to every action trivializes Gen Z, feeding into the patriarchal infantilization of women and dismissal of women’s autonomy. Though appending the word “girl” to any action adds a sense of relatability and recognition, the trend does little to disrupt the systematic disempowerment of women.

The larger issue with femininity trends on TikTok is their perpetuation of the female condition in patriarchy. These trends continue the repression of women, failing to inspire empowering views of femininity. The reality is femininity on social media will never truly be for women: Indulgence in social media is mere consumption in the economy of visibility.