Why Do Straight Women Love Gay Romance So Much?

While the smashing success of “Heated Rivalry” managed to shock even the most seasoned TV executives, the prosperity of media portraying gay romance is nothing new. From movies like “Call Me By Your Name” and “Brokeback Mountain” to books such as “The Song of Achilles” and “Red, White & Royal Blue,” tales of gay romance are beloved across a variety of cultures, but there has been one demographic that has especially resonated with it: straight women.

So why exactly do straight women feel so connected to stories about love between two men? The answer is complicated and multifaceted. In many ways, these narratives allow women to relate to the characters while also disconnecting themselves from the societal limitations placed on women, which so deeply shape heterosexual relationships.

More specifically, women are able to see the connection they desire in their own relationships portrayed onscreen without the plagues of the patriarchy that complicate their intimacy. In other words, these stories provide both connection to and distance from the real-world romances that women experience.

One of the most compelling parts of romances portraying love between two men is the emotional openness it allows the characters to display. Particularly, in “Heated Rivalry,” there is a scene where Ilya Rosanov (Connor Storrie) calls Shane Hollander (Hudson Williams) in his native tongue, Russian, opening up about his family trauma, his grief over his father’s death, and most notably, his desire to be physically and emotionally closer to Hollander.

This portrayal of tenderness is rare in depictions of professional athletes, making this moment all the more important. Scenes like this can be deeply satisfying for women because it demonstrates the way that they wish the men in their lives would communicate.

“In a straight, hetero romance, you fall into tropes and stereotypes where the woman is the communicator, and the guy is closed-off,” said actor Williams in an interview with Them. Women realize that “men are capable of having communication, they can get somewhere. They’re not entirely incompetent,” said Williams.

Another reason these stories resonate so personally is because relationships between two men exist outside of the power structures that shape heterosexual romance. While being in a gay relationship comes with its own societal challenges, modern gay romance is often exempted from traditional gender roles.

In Rosanov and Hollander’s relationship in “Heated Rivalry,” there are fewer expectations of who should lead, who should sacrifice, or who should be emotionally responsible, which allows the two men to be equal partners. For female viewers who are used to consuming media that portrays women as constrained by traditional roles, this absence of patriarchal baggage makes the relationship more egalitarian.

Paradoxically, because these relationships do not directly mirror ones in women’s lives, it is easier for female viewers to interact with and relate to the characters. In a heterosexual romance, women often feel forced to identify with the female character, even if they do not necessarily feel a strong or desirable connection in relation to her experiences.

Women are free to connect with aspects of both protagonists regardless of gender, permitting them to more deeply relate to the narrative. This distance creates space for a new type of appreciation, where the viewer can focus less on projecting themselves into the story and more on appreciating the relationship unfolding onscreen.

Taken altogether, these factors may explain why straight women identify so strongly with stories of gay romance. Freeing them from the shackles of a singular female protagonist enables women to imagine a relationship where society considers them perfectly equal to their partner, where the patriarchy is not a burden to be carried on their shoulders.

—Staff writer Audrey A. Chalfie can be reached at [email protected].