BELOVED REGENT GIVES UP POST

Matthew Luce, Long Guardian of the University's Morals, Withdraws from Office

The resignation of Regent Matthew Luce which was tendered to the college authorities yesterday afternoon was greeted with complete surprise by President Lowell. It is undecided whether the University can afford to lose one so valuable to the working of its smooth running machine.

Regent Luce when interviewed by a representative of the CRIMSON gave as the reason for his resignation the fact that he was no longer necessary and that his office is no more than a title.

"While the student body at one time was boisterous and hard to handle, for some years they have been docile and amendable to University regulation The days when pistols were fired up chimneys, when statues were painted, when free speech was exercised, are now no more, thanks to the hearty co-operation of the Lampoon and to a less degree of the CRIMSON. We of this office are only human and sometimes wish that someone would play with a fire extinguisher or do something spectacular in order that ancient and long-standing statues might be put to use. We have hoped in vain, and in fear of premature age through inactivity I have resigned."

He said that the present staff of Yard Cops would not retire with him, but since they were ageing fast would be retained for sentiment's sake