Levity
Dos and Don'ts
The Harvard-Yale Game, which dates back to 1875, is one of the oldest and most notable rivalries in the history of college sports. It is also one of the most highly anticipated events of the college year for students from both schools. Regardless of whether or not you’re a sports fan, the weekend of The Game is a weekend for memories. These memories will not be created in a cubicle of Lamont or in the silence of Widener—you will likely be alone and crying in these places if you choose to stay behind. Throw on your Crimson gear, get yourself down to New Haven, and keep these do’s and don’t’s in mind as you prepare and proceed for a legendary weekend.
Venn Diagram: Yale Bowl vs. Toilet Bowl
Both: Go there when drunk Uncomfortable seating Washing hands a necessity Smells like shit
Jukebox: Harvard-Yale Edition
Come next weekend, hundreds of Harvard students will be piling into buses to make the famed pilgrimage to the rough and tumble streets of New Haven, home of the number one safety school. To pass the travel time as Harvard prepares for its seventh consecutive win, take a listen to these classics:
FM Imagines: Harvard-Yale Buses
While trips to the quad are often categorized as “too far to travel,” Harvard students shuttle to The Game at Yale every other year. FM imagines what some of the conversations on these buses might look like.
Only at Harvard
1. In order to ring Lowell’s bells, you must complete a semester-long comp process, allowing you to join the Lowell House Society of Russian Bell Ringers. This is one extracurricular that will definitely lead to a job after college.
FM Imagines...
Satire V/Lampoon: - It’s so cool we did this. And I enjoy the magazine, honestly. What do you think of the website? - I chuckle at times. - Thanks, Lampoonster. It means a lot that you high-brow humorists up in your fancy castle can appreciate some good ol’ plebeian satire. - At times. - I give up. You can go fuck yourself. - ... - Could we go in the castle next time?
Drinky-Drink
Though we may be a little too old for trick-or-treating, we can enjoy a different type of treat to get into the holiday spirit. Make any costume party even more spooky and festive with these ghoulishly good potions.
Movie Marathon
With so much costume-fueled excitement occurring this past weekend, it may be hard to find motivation to get into the spirit of Halloween now that it’s actually here. But what, you ask, does one do in such a dilemma? The answer: watch movies! Here to satisfy all your Halloween-related desires is a list of the spookiest and most skin-crawling films that FM can come up with.
Hate It: Vests
After three years of mediocre costumes (last year I panicked, threw on jeans and flannel and told everyone I was a lumberjack), I was determined that this year I was going to do Halloween right. I was sure I had things locked when I stumbled upon a puffy orange vest in a pile of thrift shop clothes. “Perfect!” I thought. “Pair it with a jean jacket, Walkman, and cardboard hoverboard and I can impress everyone with my rendition of Marty McFly, time traveler extraordinaire.”
Love It: Vests
It is fall. It is time to refuse the shackles of heavy down jackets and throw on the most world-renowned, freedom-enforcing, time-honored and life-improving article of clothing: the vest.
Trick-or-Treat at Professors' Homes
Since you've been meaning to go to office hours all semester, get face time with your favorite faculty members by showing up to their houses on Halloween and demanding candy. Here’s what FM imagines that they’ll be giving out.
Scoped!: Justin J. Moore '15
Why you switched allegiances: Harvard’s opportunities, including working for a consulting startup in Boston, and enjoying a real city. And the poopetrator scandal, obviously. That’s one of the reasons why I got out.
Venn Diagram: Freshman Fall vs. Senior Fall
Both: Worried about which house they’ll live in next year
Quiz: Which Male Final Club Are You?
Oh no! Disaster has struck. You’ve been punched by all the final clubs, you stud. Tough decisions are coming up as you’re trying to decide not only your concentration (economics), but also which final club is the right fit. We’re here to make your life easier, because your dad’s personal assistant can’t make all your decisions for you.
Job Hunt Drinking Game
My name is Highly Stressed Senior, and this is my 27th cover letter of the day. Since I have 16 more applications due before the looming midnight deadline, I am in dire need of a stiff drink, and have decided to play a little game.
Venn Diagram: Nagy and Nas
Recently, Harvard announced the Nasir Jones Hip-Hop Fellowship in honor of the acclaimed rapper, Nas. Classics Professor Gregory Nagy teaches “The Ancient Greek Hero,” a popular course now offered on edX. This is their intersection.
15 List: If I Had A Million Dollars
Harvard’s new capital campaign aims to raise $6.5 billion dollars, trumping Stanford’s previous record by a cool $300 million just because, you know, we have to be number one. This is great news for students! With $6.5 billion in the bank and about 6,500 undergraduates (give or take), we should each get our fair share of one million dollars. Here’s how to spend yours. Harvard, we take cash or credit, but prefer direct deposit.
Bistro Lev
This year, rumor has it that Leverett Dining Hall has rebranded itself as “Bistro Lev” due to Cambridge zoning laws which currently classify it as an assembly/residence. While we can’t speak to the truth of this, we know for certain that Harvard’s food scene has irrevocably changed.
Commencement & Senior Week Drinking Game
-Anyone who mentions how old they feel must take a drink.