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Before you ask, the answer is yes, Tree is my real name. Right there on my birth certificate, passport, everything. Why, you wonder? I’ve got a few stories I pull out, depending on who’s asking. But you didn’t come here to read about me, so instead of my own story, here are the seven best trees from throughout popular culture.
7. The Giving Tree, “The Giving Tree”
This Shel Silverstein classic is divisive among critics of children’s literature. Is it a touching portrait of altruism or a despicable endorsement of subservience? Either way, the poor tree’s self-sacrifice in the name of love has become inextricable from the children’s literary canon.
6. The Whomping Willow, The Harry Potter Series
At first, I thought this tree was a little too mainstream a pick, but I didn’t want to bruise its pride; after all, did you see what it did to the Weasleys’ car?
5. Treebeard, the Lord of the Rings trilogy
“Tree? I am no tree!” Face it, big guy—you’re a tree. Because who’s going to make a “Top 5 Ents” list any time soon?
4. The Kite-Eating Tree, “Peanuts”
Not only is this a standout tree, but it’s also one of the most unrelenting, insidious villains in comics and pop culture at large. Lucy, another bane of poor Charlie Brown’s existence, even let him kick the football a couple times.
3. The tree that falls in the forest when nobody’s around to hear it
Does it make a sound? The world may never know. And that’s why this tree is a timeless classic.
2. “The Tree of Life”
It’s a nonsensical jumble of CGI dinosaurs, philosophical musings, and Sean Penn staring off into the distance, but it also features beautiful shots of sunlight through the trees. Like, a lot of them. And that’s good enough for me.
1. The many trees smoked during the making of Snoop Lion’s “Reincarnated”
It’s no secret that Snoop’s always worked in a weedy haze. Now “Reincarnated” from a lowly canine to a majestic prowler of the savannah, he’s embraced his inner Rasta and released an album of surprisingly enjoyable reggae jams with a mid-puff self-portrait on the cover. I don’t want to know what the studio smells like.
–Staff Writer Tree A. Palmedo is the other incoming Campus Arts Executive. He’s from Portland, Ore., and won’t ever let you forget it. He can be reached at email@example.com.
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