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The Crimson Arts Vanities 2015

By Crimson Arts Staff

Every year, the outgoing and incoming execs of The Crimson’s Arts magazine publish a tongue-in-cheek final supplement satirizing both the Arts board of The Crimson and the arts world at large. Below are this year’s pieces.

“Top 5 Beers for an Arts Board Meeting”

After being an Arts exec for over one-seventh of her life, Grace E. Huckins ’16 (outgoing chair) draws on her experience to list her top five choices for beers to accompany an Arts meeting.

“15 Hottest Deans”

“15 Hottest” is back! Abby L. Noyes ’16 (outgoing chair) provides a comprehensive list of the 158 Hottest Deans name Dingman, including brief profiles and fun trivia.

“Roving Reporter: The Crimson Newsroom—On Victoria Lin”

Roving Reporter Ha D.H. Le ’17 (outgoing campus arts exec and incoming chair) ventures to 14 Plympton Street to learn more about her incoming co-chair Victoria Lin ’17 and to see if Lin measures up to the film “Love.”

“Roving Reporter: The Crimson Newsroom—On Ha D.H. Le”

Roving Reporter Victoria Lin ’17 (outgoing campus arts exec and incoming chair) explores how her incoming co-chair Ha D.H. Le ’17 juggles biomedical engineering, her visual and environmental studies secondary, and the responsibilities of being a campus arts exec.

“How to Avoid Writing Anything Ever”

Adriano O. Iqbal ’18 (incoming editor-at-large) didn’t want to write a vanity, so he made a program write one for him.

“A Mostly Plagiarized Guide to Writing in Three Easy Steps”

Elizabeth C. Keto ’18 (incoming campus arts exec) is completely unqualified to give you writing advice. She’s about to do it anyway.

“What Arts Executive Are You? (A Guide)”

Have you ever wanted to find out which Crimson Arts exec you best embody? Shaun V. Gohel ’18 (outgoing blog exec and incoming film exec) has got you covered.

“Inside Arts”

Charlotte L.R. Anrig ’18 (incoming books exec) attempts to write a review on “IAPF54: Allegory of an Ornamental Hermit.” Her emotions want to help.

“‘Puppetry at its Purest and Most Elemental’: Top Five Puppet Punk Albums, Ranked”

Amy J. Cohn ’18 (incoming music exec) knows you loved Alvin & The Chipmunks as a child. And she knows you might be wondering: What demented, ostensibly child-inspired music can I listen to next? Rest assured—she has the answers.

“Infinite Zest: A Review of My Breakfast”

J. Thomas Westbrook ’18 (incoming blog exec) considers his breakfast in typical Arts fashion.

“‘How to Write’ Drivel”

Jude D. Russo ’16 (outgoing film exec) has written reviews for every section in The Crimson Arts. Now he’s about to review himself.

“‘The Harvard Theater Review Review’ Review”

“The Harvard Theater Review Review,” running Oct. 23 to God-only-knows-when on Wordpress, has inspired strong feelings from Lien E. Le ’17 (outgoing theater exec). She’s here to share them with you.

“'Gravity Falls' in Quotes”

It airs on Disney XD, but to Alan R. Xie ’16 (outgoing covers exec), it's more than a children's show.

“On How 21 is the New 40+”

Since David J. Kurlander ’17 (outgoing music exec) is about to take his first legal drink, he’s decided to dig up some rad dranking shanties from his real-feel year of birth (somewhere in the 1971-1974 range, depending on whether one uses exponents).

“13 Columns Suggestion for Spring 2015”

After a year of editing columns, Mia J.P. Gussen ’17 (outgoing columns exec) knows what makes it or breaks it for a column idea, and she’s here to give some suggestions for future columnists.

“Hello, Goodbye: Five Local Pilgrimages in the Spirit of Crimson Arts”

“We can think of places as being like people too—Harvard and Boston, certainly, are haunted by many ghosts.” Victoria Zhuang ’15 (outgoing books exec) reflects on places to visit, particularly with her fellow Artslings.

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