Arts Vanity: High Screen Time Isn’t That Bad, Actually

Call me a broken record because I’m about to repeat myself. I opened last year’s Arts Vanity by asserting the importance of doomscrolling for my Culture coverage. Two semesters have passed since I made that claim, and I still stand by it.

If anything, digital lurking is more necessary than ever as I prepare to unleash a flood of podcasts and video essays on our beloved readers next year. Skeptics of this approach should feast their eyes on the following list, which summarizes all the benefits of what some might consider a concerning amount of screen time.

You Know Who To Be Mad at and for How Long

At this point, saying the internet is one giant rage cage is as trite as Taylor Swift’s last album. Digital denizens, however, can use this pathological tendency to their benefit. Staying abreast of cancellations automatically makes you the bearer of interesting news. If you play your cards right, you can use other people’s falls from grace to curry favor with your own peers, professors, and bosses. Who doesn’t love some piping hot tea?

You Can Stay Hip With the Kids

People are decrying the boomerification of Gen Z as of late. Over five hours of daily screen time is the perfect remedy for that. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok can serve as intensive immersion classes on youth culture. Tread carefully, though. Misused slang is a cardinal sin in this day and age, and no one will pity you if your villain origin story begins with a poorly timed “six seven.”

You Could Strike Gold With Strategic Reselling

Some phone addicts fall into a rabbit hole of consumerism, but I know you — the person reading this article — are a paragon of self-restraint. You might as well profit from this madness by finding and reselling trending products. Granted, it will take elbow grease and more than a little luck to locate limited edition items that have other users foaming at the mouth.

Still, the payoff is undeniable. To give just one example, resellers were recently able to hawk viral Starbucks Bearista Cold Cups for anywhere between $170 to $1,050 on eBay. I don’t know about you, but that seems like a great way to pay off student loans.

You’ll Be the Most Fashionable Person in the Room

If you personally align more with the Bear Cup stans than the Bear Cup resellers, try Fashiontok for a change. Keeping up with it will ensure that you’re trendy, if not stylish. There hasn’t been a dominant fashion like “Brat” or “Barbie” for a while, but that doesn’t mean you can’t hop on the emerging wave of the next one. It sure is comforting to be one of the sheeple.

You Can — Wait. Why Am I Doing This?

Don’t fall into the trap of negativity, friends! Acerbic wit is part of this article’s and social media’s charm, but too high of a dose can be fatal. A word of advice from someone whose job has and will continue to rely heavily on the internet: Log on with an arts-centric approach.

Follow your favorite artists on Instagram. Watch indie films on YouTube. Read about fashion history on X so you can develop a style that is uniquely yours, not a cheap copy of someone else’s.

I am afraid that is all the sincerity I can muster before I suffer a sudden attack of cringe. Stay cultured everyone! I hope to see you on all our social media platforms in the new year.

—To share your hot takes or vent about the latest online drama, reach out to outgoing Culture Executive and incoming Editor-at-Large Giselle P. Acosta at [email protected].