Pforzheimer House

By Mirac M. Suzgun
With Pfoho's very own orthography, massage chairs, and House guinea pigs, you’ll never even pfeel the need to leave the Quad.
By Linda Lee

UPDATED March 5, 2018 5:45 P.M.

Pfun pfact: There’s more to Pforzheimer than the notorious Igloo, so check out all the amazing benepfits this House has to offer. With its very own orthography, massage chairs, and House guinea pigs, you’ll never even pfeel the need to leave the Quad. Trust us, one look at this House, and you’ll wonder why getting Quadded was ever considered a bad thing.

By Lydia L. Cawley

All About Housing

In terms of housing, it can’t get much better than Pfoho suites. According to HoCo co-chair and active Crimson editor Krystal K. Phu ’19, there is a 97 percent chance that you can get a single as a sophomore due to their convenient n+1 housing system. If you’re the type to enjoy roommate life, however, you can still opt for doubles or suites—with the addition of a kitchen. Sounds like it’s too good to be true? That’s just Pfoho life for you.

Within Comstock, Moors, Holmes, Wolbach, and the Jordans, suites in Pfoho can vary widely in layout. You can live in connected hallway singles or suite-style rooms or duplexes. Although the Jordans are farther away from the main House—to the point of being called “the Quad of the Quad”—these former apartment suites boast the n+1 housing system with three singles, a kitchen, and a bathroom. A pretty suite deal, right? Rainbow Yeung '19, former Crimson editor, Pfoho HoCo co-chair, and former Jordans resident, agrees that living in the Jordans was ultimately a positive experience.

Moreover, the Belltower suite, so large and in-demand that it has its own lottery, offers four singles and an enormous common room within a four-person suite (hence n+1). If you’re sorted into Pfoho, rejoice in the fact that you’ll be living in practically hotel-standard housing for the next three years.

Community

Partially due to its inherently warm culture, the community in Pfoho is unparalleled. Its various social events and House traditions foster a true pfamily. Throughout the year, Pfoho’s Faculty Deans, Anne Harrington ’82 and John R. Durant, work hard to secure funding for fun outings such as bubble soccer, barbeques, and the annual dog sledding trip. A particular Pfoho specialty is Pfoho Pfridays, a weekly opportunity to eat food catered from local restaurants, vibe to music, have drinks, and hang out in the Junior Common Room.

When they’re not basking in a seemingly endless supply of food and snacks, Pfoho residents also love to engage in their community through Just Dance and rounds of a Pfoho-popular deduction game known as Secret Hitler, in which players must team up to stop hidden fascists. There’s never a dull moment in the House since its residents, tutors, and Pfaculty Deans all make an effort to organize events and brighten the community.

Granted, you might be skeptical of just how inclusive this community may be toward a newly sorted Pfoho-ser like you. Don’t worry; Pfoho welcomes new residents with traditions such as Quadded, a fun event for rising Quadlings to rejoice in their stellar living conditions, and a sophomore orientation program, which includes a solidarity barbeque, Target run, and seafood dinner with more lobster than you can possibly imagine. Pfoho even provides U-Haul trucks to transport your belongings to the Quad, an initiative that other Houses in the Quad hadn’t adopted until recently.

As a final note, Pfoho offers additional relaxation-centric amenities, including the Spfa and guinea pig therapy delivered by the House’s most loved critters, Pfoebe and Pfiona. Compared with all this, a 15 minute walk to the Yard is a simple trade-off.

Your Questions, Answered

Have some lingering doubts about Pfoho? We caught up with its HoCo chairs for more inpfo:

What is the biggest misconception about your House?

RY: That Quad housing is bad. That the Quad is bad.

KP: I think a lot of freshmen are afraid of the distance, and it makes a lot of sense because it is a longer walk from some of the Houses on the river. But, you know, we don’t disappear into the ether when we walk to the Quad. We walk back to a community that’s really warm and exciting to be in.

If you had to change one thing about your House, what would it be?

RY: None. People are going to have to drag me out [of Pfoho] when I’m cold and dead. I’m not saying that Pfoho is perfect. I’m saying when Pfoho is compared to other Houses, I do not want to transfer for anything in the world.

KP: We do get a lot of concerns from athletes and humanities students who say that living in the Quad makes it more difficult to commute to where they need to be. If I could change one thing, I would somehow make some larger adjustment to make the lives of these students easier.

What is one thing you want freshmen to know about your House?

KP: We love our freshmen already. We don’t even know who they are.

RY: Pfoho is going to be one of the greatest communities for you in these coming years. If you’re willing to give a part of yourself to the House, the House will give back. Be excited to be a part of this because we already care about you, and we can’t wait to meet you!

Read our overviews of the other Houses here.

EDITOR’S NOTE: A previous version of this article mentioned that Pforzheimer House plays a game called Secret Hitler. This article has been updated to describe that game.

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