InterHouse War of 2012
After internal rumblings of poll tampering, Winthrop withdrew today from its alliance with Adams, leaving the Plympton St. residence without allies in its war against Currier, Pfoho, Mather, and Cabot.
At 10:35 p.m. Friday night Winthrop HoCo issued an official pledge of support for Adams House, giving Adams its first ally in the Housing War. Adams has been alone in its struggle against Currier House and its allies Cabot, Pforzheimer, and Mather Houses since Tuesday when the Housing War began.
A fifth House has joined the Adams-Currier Conflict: in a signed statement, Cabot House announced its alliance with Currier. In the statement, Cabot asserted that "We, the people of Cabot, will not stand for such injustices and must act to impede this infringement upon our Faust given and unalienable Rights, among these being Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."
Winthrop House surprised campus today by declaring war on Lowell House. Their first grievance? The lack of swipe access to Lowell's back gate. Despite other House conflicts, this battle is so far limited to the two river Houses, and Winthrop has not stated its position in the on-going Adams-Currier conflict.
Relations continued to deteriorate between the Quad and the River on Wednesday evening as the Pforzheimer Department of Pfublic Safety issued a travel advisory to its residents regarding unnecessary travel to Houses currently in conflict with Currier.
In a conflict which has expanded in the course of a single day to involve an unprecedented three Houses, a fourth House has now joined the alliance against Adams House. Led by a mysterious individual known only by the alias "General Mistie," Mather House Committee issued a "Decree to Save the Tree" to declare war against Adams if they continue hostilities against Currier House.
In a not-altogether-unsurprising turn of events, Pforzheimer House announced its position on the recent outbreak of war between Adams and Currier Houses. In the so-called "Mario Doctrine," named after Pforzheimer Building Manager and "Secretary of Depfense" Mario Leon and modeled on the Monroe Doctrine, Pforzheimer residents outlined that they "will not tolerate expansionist efforts from any River House."