CAROLINE A. TSAI, 8:02 p.m.: So the 91st Oscars kick off with a performance of a Queen medley by Adam Lambert. The absence of a host is already palpably unpromising, but a “The Beauty of Cinema!” montage matched with a triumvirate of comedy royalty feels like an auspicious start, given the circumstances. “We are not your hosts,” admits Tina Fey, before she, Maya Rudolph, and Amy Poehler launch into a full-scale comedy routine, replete with a photo op and rapid-fire impressions of the nominees. The natural rapport of the SNL alumni definitely feels like a what-could’ve-been moment, in terms of hosts.
Regina King wins Best Supporting Actress.
CLAIRE N. PARK, 8:12 p.m.: Regina King (“If Beale Street Could Talk”) wins for Best Supporting Actress and gives a deeply touching speech. There’s something missing without the awkward patter of a host in between announcements, but the speeches don’t feel as rushed as they normally do.
CAT, 8:14 p.m.: Brutal smash cut to Amy Adams. Regina King was deserving, to be sure, but when will Amy Adams get her due?
The Best Makeup and Hair Styling and Best Cinematography awards are presented — during the ceremony, not during commercial breaks, as the Academy had controversially announced earlier this month. Best Costume Design and Best Production Design are also presented.
LUCY WANG, 8:26 p.m.: That sparkly dress! Not a lot of people would pull it off, but [Kate Biscoe, make-up artist and stylist for “Vice”] does.
CAT, 8:29 p.m.: Oh my god. Melissa McCarthy and Brian Tyree Henry’s “The Favourite” homage. The zoom-in on the hand puppet bunny. Who designed these? Can there be a separate award for this? McCarthy rocks the 17th century garb, in her words, “in the subtlest, subtlest of ways.”
KAYLEE S. KIM, 8:33 p.m.: Did I just hear the “Pirates of the Caribbean” theme song? Why?
CNP, 8:37 p.m.: I spoke too soon! The winners for Best Makeup and Hairstyling were ushered off stage when their speech went on for too long.
CET, 8:39 p.m.: Is it weird that the stage design is kind of in the shape of Donald Trump’s hair? I’m kind of triggered, but…I guess I’ll allow it.
CNP, 8:40 p.m.: Hannah Beachler, wearing a stunning, fittingly architectural red dress, accepts her Oscar for Best Production Design. She’s the first African American to win in this category!
CAT, 8:44 p.m.: Tyler Perry, presenting Best Cinematography, shades the Academy for initially putting the production awards during the commercial breaks. Yikes.
KSK, 8:45 p.m.: Well-deserved shade.
Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga share an intimate moment. Alfonso Cuarón wins the first of several awards.
CAT, 9:02 p.m.: I wonder how Bradley Cooper’s wife feels about Lady Gaga.
ETHAN B. REICHSMAN, 9:02 p.m.: Well, you know what they say. There’s 100 people in a room, and 99 don’t believe in you, but one does, and he happens to be Bradley Cooper.
EBR 9:07: Can’t wait to be sick of Alfonso Cuarón talking tonight.
KSK, 9:08: Someone needs to stop Ethan from talking to himself.
Bette Midler performs “The Place Where Lost Things Go,” from “Mary Poppins.”
EDWARD M. LITWIN, 9:09 p.m.: [CAT: Can I add you to the live blog? Give me a sound bite.] What sound bite do you want? [EBR: That’s perfect. Bye, Edward.]
KSK, 9:10 p.m.: [Bette Midler singing] Who is THAT?
CNP, 9:12 p.m.: Bette Midler! Cosmo Kramer, where you at?
“Bohemian Rhapsody” wins Best Film Editing. Daniel Craig presents an award, as well as Pharrell Williams.
EBR, 9:20 p.m.: Giving Film Editing to “Bohemian Rhapsody” is a way for the Academy to flip off Bryan Singer.
CAT, 9:21 p.m.: [Daniel Craig onstage] Look, it’s Rachel Weisz’s husband!
NOAH F. HOUGHTON, 9:31 p.m.: Where is Pharrell’s hat?
EBR, 9:34: Oh, Mahershala borrowed it.
“Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse” wins Best Animated Feature.
CNP, 9:31 p.m.: “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse” just won Best Animated Feature! It’s been a critic favorite and a universal crowd-pleaser, but this was such a stacked category. “Isle of Dogs,” “Incredibles 2,” and “Ralph Breaks the Internet” were amazing and inventive in their own ways, so I’m glad someone had to make this choice for me.
CAT, 9:33 p.m.: Michelle Yeoh — and literally everyone else — predicted this win!
John Mulaney and Awkwafina present the Oscars for shorts.
EBR, 9:43 p.m.: JOHN MULANEY AND AWKWAFINA? This is the best pair ever.
CAT, 9:44 p.m.: Awkwafina jokes about being nervous to see Spike Lee. Cue a brutal smash cut to Spike Lee.
CAT, 9:46 p.m.: “Bao” wins Best Animated Short. It’s heartening to see two women accepting statuettes on stage, in a ceremony where so many nominations skew male — especially for such a touching short. Go, Domee Shi!
The Crimson Arts staff comments on acceptance speeches.
LW, 9:48 p.m.: I don’t really like this acceptance speech.
EBR, 9:48 p.m.: Can we review the acceptance speeches? “Didn’t thank me. 0/10.”
CAT, 9:56 p.m.: [quoting Diego Luna, introducing “Roma”] “This is a story of lonely women and absent men.” Story of my life.
EBR, 9:56 p.m.: Caroline… Should we turn off the ceremony and just talk for a while?
Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga perform an intimate duet of “Shallow,” from “A Star Is Born.”
EVERYONE, 10:00 p.m.: [Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga start performing “Shallow”] OH, HELL YEAH.
ALLISON J. SCHARMANN, 10:02 p.m.: I wanna respond to whoever asked how Bradley Cooper’s wife is feeling: not good.
EBR, 10:05 p.m.: If there are 100 people in a room, and you have sexual tension with only one of them, it happens to be Bradley Cooper.
EBR, 10:12 p.m.: The [redacted] “Green Book” beat the [redacted] “Favourite.”
EBR, 10:15 p.m.: Regardless of whether it’s good, “BlacKkKlansman” is gonna win. They generally give screenplay awards to directors who can’t win Best Director because their movies are too political or controversial or good.
CET, 10:18 p.m.: [Spike Lee wins Best Adapted Screenplay] I want him to crowdsurf now.
CAT, 10:46 p.m.: Rami Malek wins Best Actor. He was the favorite of this award season, so this is pretty expected.
ASJ, 10:49 p.m.: He’s like one of those theater kids you date in college because he’s so into the art. And then it all goes wrong.
EBR, 10:58 p.m.: Olivia Colman is so good, and has been for decades. She’s a national treasure. Wrong country, but a national treasure.
EBR, 11:00 p.m.: [Olivia Colman wins] YES! She is a delight! My heart is so happy.
CAT, 11:07 p.m.: [after Olivia Colman’s acceptance speech] I just want the record to indicate that Caroline Tew is fully crying right now.
CAT, 11:10 p.m.: How has Alfonso Cuarón not run out of stuff to say at this point?
And finally, Best Picture is presented to “Green Book.”
MILA GAUVIN II, 11:15 p.m.: [“Green Book” wins] I’m… actually grossed out.
EBR, 11:15 p.m.: I demand that the Oscars producers cut to Spike Lee during this travesty of an acceptance speech.
KSK, 11:15 p.m.: Oh, Spike Lee better get up on that stage and protest.
EBR, 11:30 p.m.: All I can hang on to to stave off depression is Olivia Colman continuing her long streak of being a treasure.